Surviving Separation And Divorce by Loriann Hoff Oberlin

Author:Loriann Hoff Oberlin
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: epub, ebook
Publisher: F+W Media
Published: 2005-11-15T16:00:00+00:00

Six

Your Financial Future

Immediate money matters plague many separated women. Some are left with literally no resources to support themselves. Others need encouragement on how to safeguard what they do have, and file the necessary paperwork to ensure spousal and child support. Many need to prepare a budget sheet for the first time. And as a separation continues, women who might not have been accustomed to managing money need to look out for their financial futures.

Does this sound like you? Well, even if you have the most cooperative and infinitely wealthy spouse, my guess is that you can learn a great deal from this chapter. Reading these pages, you'll discover money-saving tips to slash expenses. Proper financial planning can't be stressed enough. Your future peace of mind and quality of life depend upon it. Let me give you a scenario. We'll call our friend Barbara.

Recently separated from her well-off husband, Barbara continued to enjoy the lifestyle she'd been accustomed to in her marriage — country club memberships, weekly salon and manicure appointments, and shopping at exclusive stores, even for groceries. Barbara didn't think she had a financial care in the world because her husband promised to take care of everything, and she knew he certainly had the means to do just that.

But as time went by, Barbara's husband resented that she continued to entertain extravagantly and volunteer her efforts rather than work for payment. The couple's three children were grown, with one in college and two in high school. Barbara's husband gradually diminished the funds she was used to receiving. And indeed when the couple divorced, Barbara was assigned an earning capacity. Needless to say, Barbara was dumbfounded. Soon she was in debt, and for a while, she struggled — a lifestyle she was not accustomed to.

Another woman — let's call her Melissa — was difficult and very self-centered, plus she was the master of setting up situations and then playing the martyr. If Melissa wanted something, she was accustomed to getting it — at least until her arrogance and passive-aggression, among other factors, became the proverbial straws for her husband, who then divorced her. Due to many different circumstances, Melissa's ex-husband retained custody of the couples' two sons, but a year after their divorce, his company transferred him to a major metropolitan area. Understandably, she was concerned with maintaining regular visits with her boys, but in her martyr style of conduct, she reinvented everything as a catastrophe.

Melissa's frequent pattern of spending had begun to catch up with her; however, after waging much litigation and demands, she could not possibly afford to relocate herself to this area with a higher cost of living. She'd spent tens of thousands of dollars trying to fashion a more favorable divorce settlement, and she spent even more in court complaining about anything her ex-husband did with the boys. Melissa told anyone that would listen that she would go anywhere to be with her two sons, but now when it really mattered, she couldn't afford to make that happen.

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