Surrender to the Stars: An Enemies to Lovers, Hospital Romance by Swati MH

Author:Swati MH [MH, Swati]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: SMH Publishing
Published: 2021-05-12T16:00:00+00:00

15

Vik

What just happened?

I sit on the couch, shell-shocked, trying to process the past hour.

I thought we were having a good time. I thought she wanted this as much as I did. Her lust-filled screams indicated as much.

So where did it all go wrong?

Feeling like I’ve been hit by a speeding train, I drag myself off the couch and into my bed after brushing my teeth. I set my alarm for the next morning, hoping to get a run in before heading to the hospital. But sleep is the last thing on my mind. For the next hour, I toss and turn, thinking about Cassie. Her silky, soft skin under me. Her hands in my hair, begging me for more. The way her entire body buckled when she reached the peak. I’ve seen it in other women, of course, but I’ve never been desperate for more. I’ve never wanted more than one night with any of them.

So why do I feel different with Cassie? Why do I hate that she left, telling me I’ll never have her again? Is it because the tables have turned, and instead of me breaking it off with her after one night, it was Cassie who let me go? Shouldn’t I be relieved that she let me off the hook so I can continue with my one-night rule?

A faint hum from the bar downstairs travels in through the window as I imagine bar-goers walking in and out. One of the fellows in the program had texted me earlier asking if I wanted to join a few of them at the bar, but I responded by saying I was tired. Surprisingly, nothing about going to a loud bar to pick up women sounded appealing. Given a choice between having even the slightest possibility of Cassie coming over versus pursuing meaningless sex, I had picked Cassie. And even if she hadn’t shown up, I wouldn’t have regretted not going.

That should have been my first clue that something wasn’t right with me. Something had changed, but I can’t put my finger on what exactly.

I should make an appointment with my therapist.

As if trying to rub away the constriction weighing heavily in the middle of my chest, my hand moves on its own accord. Just the thought of doing what she asked--pretending tonight never happened--has me feeling like my airways are too small for me to exhale.

For the better part of the past few weeks, she’s made a home in my thoughts. With every encounter and every exchange, I crave more of her. All of her. From her sassy words thrown at me like live grenades to her soft laugh, as warm as her skin. From the way she selflessly thinks about others to the way she’s devoted to her job. From the way she maintains an appearance of control to the way she lost it under my hands. I love it all. I want it all.

Again and again.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Just the thought that I would crave someone so much should be setting alarm bells off in my head.

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