Stardust Diaries 2007 by Swan Tarn

Author:Swan, Tarn
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: soap opera, diary, humour, spanking, mm, gay romance, gay fiction, glbt fiction, domestic discipline, gay literature, ds romance, comedy series, bdsm aspects, comedydrama, transgender fiction
Publisher: Tarn Swan

19th June ~ Ringmaster

I've told Twinks if I get the scent of a circus coming to town he can wave me bye-bye because when it leaves I'll have done a Nelly the elephant in reverse and packed my trunk and gone with it. I reckon I can easily get a job as a ringmaster after living with him and his performances. How I'm not white haired is a miracle.

His first performance involved the weather this morning. He didn't want to get up because it was raining. It was frigging raining! AGAIN! It was the weather forecasters fault. Surely they had some control over the bloody weather? He was phoning the met office to DEMAND an explanation. I finally managed to stop him ranting and get him out of bed.

Performance number two involved bleach. He decided he needed to visit the loo just before we left for work. He took forever, so I bawled up to ask what the heck was keeping him. He bawled back that he was just having a quick wipe around the bathroom. It was grubby. I was cross and told him to leave it or we'd be late. Seconds later an ear-shattering scream cleft the air. He appeared at the top of the stairs screeching and jabbing at the front of his trousers. For a horrible moment I thought he'd trapped his penis in his zip. It wouldn't be the first time.

I darted up the stairs to assist in the liberation process, but it wasn't necessary. His penis was safe and sound. In the process of sluicing Domestos around the toilet bowl he'd managed to splash his suit trousers with the stuff. They were ruined, the colour had come out. He couldn't go to work now, not with suspicious white stains on the front of his trousers. People would think I'd gotten excited in the car and ejaculated on him, either that or he'd opened his fly to have a crafty wank and left evidence.

I was vexed with him for fiddling on with bleach and sharply told him to change into his other suit. He couldn't. The trousers had a dodgy zip. He’d been meaning to ask my mother to change it for him, but kept forgetting. He couldn't possibly wear trousers with a dodgy zip to work, what if he exposed himself to a customer? He could get arrested.

This man spends a queen's ransom on frocks that will be worn only once, while begrudging spending any more than he has to on something he needs every day for work.

I told him he'd have to wear his jacket and keep it fastened all day. I also told him that after work we were going shopping to get him a couple of new suits. He was outraged, reminding me that the summer sales were about to start. He needed to keep funds free for pretty bargains. My reply was a resounding TOUGH! Work suits came first.

I meant it too. I picked him up from work this evening and we drove to the retail park.

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