Some Things Never Change by Cee Yang

Author:Cee Yang [Yang, Cee]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2024-01-28T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter

Twenty-Four

I felt as if I was thrusted back to being fifteen again—to a time when my feelings burned too fiercely and passionately. I swore to myself I would never come back to this ever again. Yet, here I was. When I was a teen, I loved loving him. But I also hated the intensity of it all and the complex web of longing, envy, and so much self-loathing that sprung from it.

I hated being envious of those sweet girls he always gave his attention and heart to. I hated the way I compared myself to their perfection. I hated the torment he put me through, with each girl hanging off of his arm. I hated how much I longed to be near him, despite the mere glance he’d throw at me whenever he was in a relationship. I hated how much I saw all of him as a boy and nothing as a friend.

More than anything, I hated the girl I became because of my feelings for him, because I couldn’t risk our friendship in that way.

Our friendship was one of my comforts and warmths. So, I could never risk jeopardizing it and chose the easiest way out. I chose to never show or tell anyone my feelings for him. Instead, I buried all I felt for Andy into my own Pandora’s box. Then, I pushed it down to the deepest depths of my core and I never looked back. In the aftermath of it all, I boiled the love I felt for him down to a measly crush. It was easier to live with it all this way.

But, now that I unearthed and opened Pandora’s box, the truth was consuming me all over again. I was in love with Andy as a teen, and I’m still in love with him now as an adult. However, I could never subject myself through the same cycle I did when we were teens again. I planned to nip it in the bud. I would selfishly confess and then let go of Andy K. Hughes for good.

Nothing about our friendship would ever be the same once my secret came to the light. My feelings would become both our burdens and that was one thing I hated the most about this decision. I would never want him to shoulder this load with me when it was my problem and my problem alone. But, that was just Andy. He’s too caring and far too kind. Unlike him, I couldn’t hide my feelings the way he did.

Because I’m selfish like that.

“You alright?” asked Andy.

Not really, I silently answered. I had been sleepless all week with too much on my mind and emotions to feel to truly sleep in peace. Never once had I ever been up late into the night, even as a teen, thinking of Andy and deciding what to do. But the fire of him consumed my mind practically every second of the day this entire past week.

If I didn’t lie awake in the

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