socialsklz by Faye de Muyshondt

Author:Faye de Muyshondt
Language: eng
Format: azw3
ISBN: 9780762449347
Publisher: Running Press
Published: 2013-06-17T07:00:00+00:00

6

Gratitude, Attitude, and Everyday Thoughtfulness

“Showing gratitude is one of the simplest yet most powerful things humans can do for each other.”

—Randy Pausch

Some time ago, I was watching ABC News and happened upon an interview with Randy Pausch. He was a college professor at Carnegie Mellon University who was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer in 2006 and was told he had three to six months to live. On September 18, 2007, he taught one last class entitled, “The Last Lecture: Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams,” which became a New York Times bestselling book and can still be seen today on YouTube. Among the priceless lessons that are included in Pausch’s lecture is one that is incredibly simple, yet powerful: we must be grateful. Imagine a man who is reflecting on his life in the face of death and who chooses to talk about the value of gratitude.1 This was a striking reminder to me that we all have something to be grateful for.

When I founded socialsklz:-) and developed the various components of each workshop, I decided to include a lesson called “Gratitude: The Value of Everyday Thoughtfulness.” To this day it remains an essential part of our workshop series. I included this lesson in the socialsklz:-) toolkit because I recognized how much gratitude and thoughtfulness have enhanced many of my relationships with friends, teachers, family, and my husband. I regularly incorporate these traits into my daily living, and this has helped me be a more empathetic human being. Expressing gratitude is effective; it’s rewarding for all parties involved, and it feels good to acknowledge what we’re grateful for. Taking the time to recognize the efforts of others and to convey genuine thanks and appreciation makes other people feel special, which in turn makes us feel good. Simply put, it’s good karma. When we’re good to others, they’re (mostly) good to us in return.

Numerous studies on gratitude support the way it is linked to happiness, well-being, and stronger relationships with others. A 2003 study at the University of California-Davis showed that “a daily gratitude intervention (self-guided exercises) with young adults resulted in higher reported levels of the positive states of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness, and energy, compared to a focus on hassles or a downward social comparison (ways in which participants thought they were better off than others).”2 Another study concluded that “children who practice grateful thinking have more positive attitudes toward school and their families.”3

Apart from our programming them to say “please” and “thank you,” children need some help in understanding why they’re professing thanks: if we are to live in a state of gratitude, we need to be aware. Although it’s not an inherent character trait in any young child, gratitude can be taught, and the good feelings that come from being grateful will encourage children to continue to think of others, rather than only of themselves. Kids who don’t learn to be thankful can often be viewed as entitled or selfish. The practice of being grateful helps children become more loving, appreciative, compassionate, and sensitive to the feelings of others.

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