Snowflake by Louise Nealon

Author:Louise Nealon [Nealon, Louise]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bonnier Publishing Fiction
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

We milk the cows together on Sunday.

‘What are you wearing down the pub?’ Billy shouts over the milking machine.

‘Are you afraid our outfits will clash?’ I shout back.

‘You’re not planning on wearing those stilts you had on the other night?’

‘Hardly.’

‘That’s a relief.’

‘I’d look well now, wouldn’t I? Tottering into Shirley’s in stilettos of a Sunday evening.’

‘I was just asking.’

‘You think I’ve no cop on at all.’

I steal a blue jumper from Mam’s wardrobe. I have been wearing a lot of Mam’s clothes lately. I wear the jumper with black jeans. I consider wearing knee-high hooker boots to piss Billy off but settle for Docs. He’s waiting for me at the gate.

‘Well, do I pass the test?’

‘Those seem fine. They look like you should be able to walk in them.’

‘What do you have against heels?’

‘I have nothing against heels themselves. It’s only when they’re on the feet of young ones that they seem to transform ye all into newborn calves taking your first steps.’

I can’t think of anything smart to say so I let him think he’s won.

‘The lads are probably there already,’ Billy says.

‘What lads?’

‘The lads. You didn’t think we’d be drinking on our own?’

‘Ah Billy, who do I’ve to talk to?’

‘You don’t have to talk to anyone you don’t want to. All you have to do is cough up when it’s your round.’

‘Sure I’ll just get my own.’

Billy stops in the middle of the road. ‘You will not. You’ll be civilised. There is a right way of doing things and a wrong way. Vodka, I can assure you, is the wrong way. You’d know that if you ever witnessed your grandmother on the tear.’

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