Sleepwalking by Cara Malone

Author:Cara Malone [Malone, Cara]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: lesbian, Fiction, romance, Bipolar, College, New Adult, Coming Out, Novella
ISBN: 9781370678372
Amazon: B06XKFV93S
Goodreads: 34723575
Publisher: Kink House Publications
Published: 2017-03-12T23:00:00+00:00

***

Morgan fought the urge to pause in the hallway as she walked past the open door of the second bedroom. Three weeks ago – just before Allison’s implant appointment – the two of them had spent a sweaty, messy, cheerful afternoon painting the walls in Benjamin Moore’s Mint Julep – fifty dollars a gallon, because the nursery had to be perfect.

The room was empty now except for a couple large, unopened boxes stacked in the center of the floor. Allison had gone out and bought a crib, a changing table, and a rocking chair, and Morgan had promised to assemble it all this weekend. She hardly saw the point now, and she couldn’t keep her eyes from stealing a look into the room as she walked by. It was the same as it had been this morning, only the pastel green walls no longer reminder her of spring and growth and optimism. In the shadows of night, they took on a sickly pallor. Morgan pulled the door shut.

Back in the living room, she sat down at a small desk tucked into one corner of the room and opened her laptop with a sigh. She typed ‘bipolar disorder – manic episode symptoms’ into a search engine, then clicked on the first result in the list. A taunting note below the link, put there by the search engine, told her, ‘You’ve visited this site may times.’

“Don’t I know it,” Morgan answered under her breath.

She scanned the symptom list in a misguided attempt to get validation from the Mayo Clinic about something that she already knew damned well. Jumpy, wired, agitation, racing thoughts, impulsivity. Check, check, check, check, check.

There wasn’t a single moment that Morgan could pinpoint as the beginning of Allison’s mood swings and impulsivity, but she did remember the first time she ever nervously plugged Alli’s symptoms into a search engine and came up with the term ‘bipolar’. It had been another long day – not nearly so long as this one, but exhausting no less. It was a Sunday, which always seemed to put Allison into a melancholy mood even when they’d just started dating. This Sunday was worse than all the others before it, though, and Alli slept so late that Morgan started worrying about her.

She woke slowly, as if she was swimming her way out of a thick fog, and when Morgan asked her if she was feeling okay, Allison burst into tears. The crying continued for almost half an hour, body-wracking sobs that Morgan was both bewildered by and helpless to stop. Eventually, she convinced Alli that she’d feel better if she took a shower and had something to eat, and when Allison announced abruptly that she was going to go out for a while instead, the worry Morgan felt settled in her stomach like a stone. She didn’t want to let Allison go, but she couldn’t think of a good enough reason to make her stay.

Alli came home four hours later so happy that Morgan thought she was on drugs.

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