Six String Rocketeer by Jesse Butterworth

Author:Jesse Butterworth [Butterworth, Jesse]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-55112-2
Publisher: Crown Religion/Business/Forum
Published: 2013-09-11T16:00:00+00:00

WHO’S AT FAULT?

It wasn’t like the announcement of the split was a total surprise, but it’s like when you find out your grandma has Alzheimer’s disease. You’re not sure exactly how to deal with it. You know that she’s not dead, because you can still see her living and breathing, but you can’t help feeling like she really is dead. Is it worth sitting and talking to her when you’re not really sure she’s hearing you? Is it worth giving her a hug when you’re not sure she has any clue who you are? You can’t figure out if it’s easier to act like she’s still alive or act like she’s passed away. And when you finally hear that she’s breathed her last breath, all the emotions you’ve held in limbo come gushing out, and you can’t do anything to stop it.

When you have such deep feelings of anguish over something that’s been lost, a natural reaction is “Who did this?” or “Whose fault is this?” Which, in turn, leads to thoughts of revenge or retribution.

I’d heard people say on after-school specials, “It’s not your fault that your parents are divorcing.” I couldn’t agree more. There are probably a lot of kids who feel that something they did or didn’t do caused their folks to split. To them I offer that same after-school-special advice: it’s not your fault. In my case, however, it never crossed my mind that I had caused the breakup. I knew it was my parents’ fault.

Take T-bone, for example. When I made fun of T-bone on the blacktop, he first had feelings of total anguish and may have thought, If only I were thin. But after he realized he didn’t deserve to take that kind of stuff, he immediately sought out the one who had made it happen.

In the case of my parents’ splitting up, it was difficult to pick out who had caused this, and as far as I could tell, they were both the good guys and both the bad guys.

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