Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay by Stefanie Wilder-Taylor

Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay by Stefanie Wilder-Taylor

Author:Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Gallery Books


Developmental Timetables

3 months

What the books say your baby should be able to do

Recognize your face, laugh, and do mini-push-ups

What your baby is more likely doing

Looking at you as though she can’t quite place you, crying, and peeing through fourteen onesies a day

6 months

What the books say your baby should be able to do

Roll in both directions, imitate sounds, possibly sit without support

What your baby is more likely doing

Spitting food, crying in the car seat, peeing through ten onesies a day

12 months

What the books say your baby should be able to do

Express her wants with words and gesture instead of cry

What your baby is more likely doing

Whining and crying when you can’t understand her baffling sounds and gestures

2 years

What the books say your baby should be able to do

Walk down stairs, identify colors, and identify body parts on a doll

What your baby is more likely doing

Throwing tantrums in grocery stores, spilling juice on your white couch, pointing out her “vaginey” at dinner parties

20 years

What the books say your “baby” should be able to do

Vote, make her own meals, and pay her own bills

What your “baby” is more likely doing

Living at home “for another year until I figure out what I want to do with my life,” eating your food, using her college fund to buy marijuana



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