Silent Agreements by Linda D. Anderson PhD & Sonia R. Banks PhD & Michele L. Owens PhD

Author:Linda D. Anderson, PhD & Sonia R. Banks, PhD & Michele L. Owens, PhD
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Potter/Ten Speed/Harmony/Rodale
Published: 2019-05-07T04:00:00+00:00

WHAT IS THE SILENT AGREEMENT?

On the surface, it might seem to you that Dan was deluding himself by remaining with someone who was not able to be faithful to him. His friends tried to warn him that Christine wasn’t good for him; they didn’t trust her. What they didn’t know was that for Dan, the relationship was defined by his commitment to Christine. Period. He could tolerate her flirtations and possible hookups because he saw them as a reflection of aspects of her personality that he found highly attractive. She was somewhat outrageous, spontaneous, lusty, and fun, and he loved all that about her. He simply wanted her and silently agreed to accept the rest of it. Christine also had a part in this agreement; her side of it said that if Dan allowed her to be herself without judgment or a demand that she change her flirtatious ways, her love would be shared with him alone. They both silently agreed that they would be faithful in their love for each other and understood that when Christine was done flitting around, their commitment to each other would remain, steady and strong.

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