Sh*t I Say to Myself by Katie Krimer

Author:Katie Krimer
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Published: 2022-08-11T01:12:54+00:00

Encountering shame in a new way

So…time to cradle yourself, folks! Next time you recognize you are “in shame,” follow the steps of this exercise. For practice, pick a moment when you experienced this painful emotion.

Label your state of thought and emotion as shame when you catch yourself thinking you are bad or feeling exposed in some way. Say to yourself: This is shame. I am in shame right now.

Observe the way shame feels in your body and mind. How does your body feel when it is in shame? What does feeling this way make you want to do (for example, yell, hide, punish yourself)?

Normalize shame as an emotion experienced by most humans. Shame can make you want to punish yourself. Say to yourself: I’m feeling shame because I have a natural human desire to feel belonging, acceptance, and love.

Place a hand over your heart (this activates oxytocin, the love hormone, and the care system, which fights the activated nervous system). Say to yourself: May I know I am worthy. May I know I am lovable. May I know I am human (Germer and Neff 2020).

Share your shame. Shame thrives in the dark, so if you have someone who can hear and see your experience without judgment, speaking up can transform the pain (Brown 2000).

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