Shot Through the Tart by Chelsea Thomas

Author:Chelsea Thomas [Thomas, Chelsea]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Big and Little Press
Published: 2019-12-25T16:00:00+00:00

26

The Cat’s Meow

Over the course of the next hour, Edward Frame regaled us (in grand, dramatic fashion) with the story of Adam Smith’s arch-rival — one of the “unnamed cats” from the hit Broadway musical CATS.

At first, neither Miss May nor Teeny believed Edward. I didn’t either, for that matter. Why would an actor from CATS want Adam Smith dead?

“Why would an actor from CATS want Adam Smith dead?” I asked out loud.

Edward, obviously objecting to my skepticism, launched into a long story about stolen parts and roommates and the competitive nature of actors trying to make a living on Broadway. Based on his tone, Edward thought every second of his story was riveting, but I almost fell asleep at least three times. Finally, at the end of his long-winded story, he got to the point…

Adam Smith’s Broadway nemesis was a big, bald man named Ace. Turns out, Ace was still performing every night as “unnamed cat” in CATS. That was our next big lead, and even though we were two bottles of wine deep into conversation with Mr. Frame, we all politely excused ourselves and bolted out of there.

We arrived at the Neil Simon theater in Midtown Manhattan at around 9 PM. The street exploded with energy. A caricature artist drew a picture of a happy little girl. Tipsy 20-something girls stumbled out of a sports bar. A homeless man slumped against the wall, shaking his cup for change.

Dozens of well-dressed people stood outside the theater lobby, eating candy and chatting.

“It must be intermission,” I said. “If we find the actors entrance we can probably catch Ace after the play. I think they have to enter and exit through a special door.”

“So you want to just stand out here for another two hours waiting?” Teeny shook her head. “No way. We’re going to second-act this thing.”

I furrowed my brow. “What is second-acting?”

Miss May laughed. “One of the oldest tricks in the book.”

“Let me tell it. And don’t call my tricks old!” Teeny looked both ways to make sure no one was listening. “When you second-act a play, that means you wait outside at intermission, then when the crowds hurry back in for the second act… You join the masses and hurry in along with them. I used to do it all the time back in my 20’s.”

Miss May chuckled. “So just a few years ago then?”

“That’s right,” said Teeny.

Inside the lobby, the lights flickered. Teeny’s eyes widened. “That’s the signal. You girls ready?”

I thought about objecting, but I knew it was pointless. Before I could even open my mouth to agree, Teeny grabbed me and Miss May by our elbows and led us into the theater.

My clam-hands returned immediately. Even after breaking and entering and chasing criminals, I did not have the constitution to sneak into a Broadway play. I followed Teeny’s lead and seconds later I found myself inside the Neil Simon theater with a smile on my face.

“This lobby is beautiful,” I said. “Look at this Oriental rug.

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