Secrets and Lies: A Forbidden Romance by S.E. Law & S.C. Adams

Author:S.E. Law & S.C. Adams [Law, S.E.]
Language: eng
Format: epub

8

Julian

* * *

I sit at my desk, tapping a pencil against the mahogany while staring at the wide-open vista of Manhattan visible through the floor to ceiling windows. But my eyes are blind because my thoughts are filled with the beautiful blonde whom I left last night. I’ve been in the office for four hours now, but my mind refuses to focus on the work I need to get done. Instead, I’m plagued with memories of Lindy. Shit, I fucked that one up.

My assistant knocks on the door.

“Come,” I growl.

Pam pokes her head in while peering around the door, blinking from behind her goggle-like glasses.

“You’ve looked better, Mr. Statham,” the middle-aged woman remarks.

I roll my eyes. My secretary takes too many liberties with me, but then again, she’s been with me for over a decade.

“What can I do for you, Pamela?”

She sighs.

“I wanted to let you know that the Union Square initiative is a go. We got approval from the city today, so should I contact the Parks Department regarding the final contract?”

I nod grimly.

“Yeah, that would be great. Thanks for staying on top of this.”

She nods.

“Sure no prob, Mr. Statham.” Pam pauses a moment as I raise an eyebrow.

“Is there anything else?”

My secretary shakes her head.

“No nothing. Just let me know if you need anything.”

Then she shuts the door and I’m left to the silence of my office once again. Fuck, what has my life come to? I bury my head in my hands. Erectile dysfunction? Is that my real problem, or is it something else?

After all, I have a problem that’s so humiliating that I can hardly even think about it. It’s from my past, and no one’s aware of it but me. But I force myself to breathe deep and acknowledge what happened: the reason I couldn’t get it up with Lindy is because we were on a date-date, and for some fucking reason, I can only have sex with prostitutes.

I feel dirty even just thinking about it. What kind of fucked up shit is this? What kind of man can only get hard when he’s paying for it?

Yet, I’ve had this hang-up forever, and I think it has to do with my childhood. I grew up in fucked-up circumstances and it’s affected me since. Sure, I started my own company and am the very picture of a successful billionaire. But you can have loads of money; live the high life; and yet be completely fucked in the head at the same time.

Even worse, Lindy thinks it’s her fault, my stupid brain reminds me. Why the hell didn’t I clarify for her? Why did I run off like a coward, blaming it on the alcohol?

Fuck me. I was such an idiot and I’ve only made things worse now. Even more, I know that Lindy wants more from me. I see the way her face lights with joy when I walk in the room, and how she has a special smile for me. I see the way her pupils dilate when we make love, and how she sighs my name when falling apart in my arms.

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