'Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy by Leslie Langtry - Bombay Family of Assassins 01 - 'Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy

Author:Leslie Langtry - Bombay Family of Assassins 01 - 'Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy [Langtry, Leslie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 0843959339
Publisher: Leisure
Published: 2007-01-01T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Miss Winter: With your ideas, I’m surprised you’re shocked at the thought of war.

Ivan Dragomiloff: Not at all. It’s purely a matter of business. How can we charge our sort of prices with everybody happily killing each other for a shilling a day?

—The Assassination Bureau

Dela and Cali run the island and handle the occasional South American job. The most interesting member of that family is my cousin Missi. If Richie was my nemesis, then Missi was my favorite relative (except for Liv, of course).

You know those wacky people you come across every now and then? The really colorful kind who don’t care what others think? That was Missi. A little older than me, but also widowed with two sons, Missi cracked me up.

I’m sure you’ve seen the James Bond movies, the ones with Q, who’s the inventor of 007’s lethal gadgets. Missi is our Q. When she wasn’t using poison frog darts on a Peruvian terrorist or some corrupt Colombian official, she was here at Santa Muerta, coming up with some really cool stuff.

Let’s see, what had she come up with that I could tell you about? Well, there was the special car bomb that ignited through the cigarette lighter. That had been cool because the authorities didn’t catch it, and a major auto manufacturer recalled 100,000 cars thinking the explosion was their fault. One of my favorites was the remote-control icicle release mechanism. It might not sound like much, but she could actually create, then release, lethal icicles into the unsuspecting skull of a target. All the police would find was a wet spot. Brilliant!

“Monkeypops,” I said into the small speaker outside Missi’s workshop. The door sprang open and in I went. Did I mention her love of unusual passwords?

“Ginny!” Missi rose from her seat to hug me. Her magnifying goggles were still on her face, giving her a weird, eye-bulging effect.

“How are you? And Monty and Jack?” I asked.

“Hell as usual. Monty made his first kill last week.” She moved to wipe away a nostalgic tear. “I can’t believe it.”

“They’re fifteen already?” I couldn’t believe it either. Had it been that long since I’d seen her?

Missi nodded, then pushed a stool toward me. I sat, and we caught up on what was going on.

Her workshop was one of my favorite places on earth. Unlike my sterile place, Missi filled every inch with really weird stuff. Sometimes I thought she spent her free time Dumpster diving in Chile. But everything there made sense to her. I guess that was what counted.

“So what’s new?” I asked, hardly able to contain myself.

She smiled slowly. “What do you want?”

“You wouldn’t happen to have any harmless nerve agent,” (that I could use on, say, a Girl Scout troop?) “or something like that?”

Missi rolled her eyes. “Harmless? Hello! Assassin.” She looked around the room. “Mostly I’ve been working on stuff for the new line.”

My eyebrows shot up. “New line?”

She nodded. “The Council’s asked me to look into another avenue of work for the family.

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