Save My Tears by Laikyn Meng

Author:Laikyn Meng [Meng, Laikyn]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781088140147
Amazon: B0CFJ9GCK4
Goodreads: 124942165
Publisher: The Orange 9 Publishing Company LLC
Published: 2023-08-11T22:00:00+00:00

13

“I’m gay,” I cough from the taste of the sour iced tea.

I wait for her to react, and when she doesn’t, I assume she didn’t hear me.

“I’m a lesbian.” I look across the small table to gauge my birth mother’s reaction. I ready the word queer, hoping it would knock some sense into the arena.

Phoebe dropped me off a couple hours ago, and I stood in front of the woman’s condo who carried us for eight months and then gave us up by the time we were six. There I was, trying to gain the courage to knock. I am sure she knew I was there; I had reached out and called.

Our old foster mom kept in touch, and I requested her information.

But seeing as I finally made it. Finally, would see. I didn’t know what I wanted, but the sad anxiety drifting through my lungs and the humidity made me dizzy. The frustration I knew was growing up my neck again, and several times, I threw my hands up and walked back to the road, only to turn around again.

Finally, I put my forehead on the door and knocked quietly, hoping the person on the other side wouldn’t hear. Because maybe if they weren’t home, I could at least say I tried.

“Okay, why are you telling me?” She chugs hers and eyes me suspiciously calm.

“Because I thought you should know.” I shrug, hoping it would change her opinion about me, but she seems unphased by my admission.

“I take it was a big deal for you.” She hands me my favorite rice crackers and pops some edamame in the microwave. “Who fucking cares if you like dick, pussy, or whatever non-binary sex terms there are. It’s your life, Morgan; it’s who you are. No offense, but I am on the dick side of this conversation.” She laughs, and it sounds free, and I am happy for her because I echo along those high notes.

“Good to know.” I take another sip of the tea and switch to her bottled water.

After Savannah opened the door, we both stared at each other. As if the days weren’t decades from our last encounter. I close my eyes and try to remember her smell, how she sang when she was tired after midnight, and we had nightmares. I tried to place her in all the ways I wanted to forget and have Remy replace her.

But this was different; she was me, and I was part of her. I was the first to open my arms, and she was as surprised as I was when she stepped into them, held me firm, and hoped I’d never let go.

“You’re so goddamn beautiful, you know that, right?” She smacks her lips like she isn’t half the reason I am pretty, but it makes me blush and uncomfortable.

“No, I’m not. Stop it.” Please, stop it. I grit my teeth with unease.

“Seriously, do people not do double takes when they see you?” Savannah shifts her head from side to side. “So nice they had to look twice.

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