Raising Your Kids Without Losing Your Cool by Shantelle Bisson

Author:Shantelle Bisson [Bisson, Shantelle]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Parenting / Motherhood
ISBN: 9781459746329
Publisher: Dundurn
Published: 2020-04-04T00:00:00+00:00

Some of you might be having thoughts like, “Wow, I never would have bought this book if I knew she was pro spanking — that’s child abuse.” Or maybe, “Where is their individual freedom if they aren’t allowed to express themselves by disagreeing with you?”

Look, these are all valid questions and concerns. You don’t need to spank your kid if you don’t want to. But believe me when I tell you that parenting them with zero consequences for stepping outside the rules isn’t the way to go, either. Why not, you ask? I’ll tell you. It isn’t the way to parent because the world doesn’t work that way. When they don’t hand in a school project in the allotted time, the teacher isn’t going to give them extra time with zero consequences. They will most likely lose a percentage of their grade for every day they don’t hand in the project. In the real adult world, an employer won’t keep them around very long if they throw a fit every single time they’re asked to perform their duties. I know you can attest to this.

Do you see what I’m getting at here?

Many of today’s parenting methods have a short-game mentality. Helicopter parenting — hovering over them; not allowing them to learn anything about life through their own organic experience of it — is stealing from them. You’re literally taking away all the exploration of self-discovery or of using their own brain for problem-solving by doing it for them. This includes inserting yourself into your child’s school life. It is not your job to do their homework, or their projects. This is not your chance to redo elementary school and really shine. This is for your child. Let them struggle. Let them problem-solve. Let them go back to their teacher for extra help. Let them learn to live without you holding their hand and fighting their battles.

Coddling them breeds insecurity; it tells them that you know they cannot do it on their own.

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