Radical Ecstasy by Dossie Easton

Author:Dossie Easton [HARDY, DOSSIE EASTON AND JANET W.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781890159900
Publisher: SCB Distributors
Published: 2011-08-05T16:00:00+00:00

What is love?

One of the most extraordinary experiences that play or sex or intimacy can offer is the moment when we feel ourselves merging, accepting another’s essence and feeling ourselves accepted as two flames held close merge into one – a feeling that it is not too grandiose to call love.

We’ve heard curmudgeons ranting about the devaluation of the word “love, “ storming on about how we should keep it only for the people with whom we intend to have our children and our mortgages and, we suppose, our conjoined gravesites – that it’s practically criminal to talk about loving our friends or our fuck buddies or the other people with whom we connect. We’d argue that theirs is the devaluation of the word. We think that our hearts are capable of holding huge, stupendous amounts of love, of every variety and gradation; and to keep such a stunning word for only one of its infinite possible meanings is like chaining an anchor to a butterfly.

However, we both grew up in a culture that attaches a lot of baggage to the feeling we call love. During the era in which we grew up, and we suspect still in the present, if you started feeling tender and passionate and intimate about someone, it was expected that a certain sequence of events would inevitably click into place: a specific number of dates, with increasing levels of sexual activity... then an agreement, or more likely an assumption, about monogamy... moving in together... commitment, often signaled with a ring and a ceremony... purchasing of property, having kids... you don’t need us to tell you the drill. Both of us have seen it flash before our eyes, like an insane movie on fast-forward, every time a hot new potential sweetie comes into our lives – in spite of the fact that neither of us consciously wants ever to walk down that particular pathway again. This programming is strong, and it would take stronger women than us to erase it completely.

At some of the tantra events we’ve attended, an announcement is made in the beginning that goes like this: “During some of these practices, you may have feelings that will feel a lot like you’re falling in love with your partner. That’s because you are – you’re falling in love with the love in the universe, which you’re seeing manifested in your partner. When that happens, it’s absolutely wonderful. Just accept it for what it is, and don’t feel the need to attach anything more to it than what it is right here and now – nothing about the future, nothing about anything outside this room, just what it is. “ In SM, a similar truism holds that you always fall in love with your first top.

This is very good advice to keep in mind as you travel in the realms of radical ecstasy, where you may over and over again have experiences that feel like falling into the deepest and most passionate of love. Remember,

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