Quietly Hostile by Samantha Irby

Author:Samantha Irby [Irby, Samantha]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Published: 2023-05-16T00:00:00+00:00

Episode 7: “The Post-it Always Sticks Twice”

I feel like I know too many people who in the late ’90s and early 2000s took a lot of their romantic/dating cues and philosophies from this show, and the one I could never understand was, and I’m paraphrasing here, “No Proof of Girlfriends Before Me Is Allowed Anywhere, at Any Time.” It’s not even the show’s fault; I know how TV writing works, someone someone knows is really like that and they borrowed from her life and projected it onto these characters. Unless you’re fewer than, what, fourteen years old??? Whoever you bang is probably gonna have banged someone before you, and that’s fine. Preferable, even!

If in 2003, when I was twenty-three years old and this final season aired, I went out with a person who informed me that they’d never had a relationship with anyone else before me (no booty call, no fuck buddy, no high school crush, no internet catfish, no nothing), I would still date them because I have a yawning chasm of emotional need inside me that only the infrequent attention from a person who doesn’t care about me that much can fill. But while anxiously staring at the phone all day, willing it to ring with their call, I would say to myself, “I hope they’re not a weirdo or murderer!”

Carrie didn’t have to, you know, befriend Berger’s ex-girlfriend, but she didn’t have to act like a huge freak, either? Although now that I think about it, that’s my new ruinous idea: Carrie becomes BFFs with Berger’s ex, they get together once a week to drink cocktails and talk about how weak his dick game is. They eventually Thelma & Louise it off one of Manhattan’s infamous cliffs after robbing a Saks.

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