Purrfectly Slim by Nic Saint

Author:Nic Saint [Saint, Nic]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Puss in Books
Published: 2022-08-17T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 24

“What I don’t understand is what your human is doing at a fat farm,” I told Pringles. “I mean, she’s not fat, is she? And neither are you. So why are you here?”

Pringles heaved a deep sigh. “It’s the producers who wanted her to come,” she said, giving us a fascinating glimpse behind the curtains of a major TV production. “She’s not fat, but she’s not a kid anymore either. This show has been running for five years now, and when we got started Thelma was fifteen. Now she’s twenty, and any way you look at it: the body of a twenty-year-old woman isn’t the same as that of a fifteen-year-old girl. So they figure she’s too fat, and needs to lose weight. Nonsense, of course, but what can you do? These people are in charge of the production, and if they decide she needs to lose weight, that’s the way it has to be.”

“But what do her parents say?”

“They agree with the producers and the agent and the manager and whoever else is running the show.”

“But that’s terrible.”

“Oh, it’s not so bad. She’s having a lot of fun, you know. She loves to be pampered, so she’s loving these mud baths and massages and beauty treatments and all the rest of it. We’ve been coming here twice a year, so we know the place pretty well by now.”

“And what about you?” I asked. “You don’t need to lose weight, do you?”

“Oh, absolutely not. Of course I can’t gain weight either. It wouldn’t look realistic for an overweight cat to dangle from a helicopter or try to outrun a posse of rabid robotic dogs.”

“They could always make you thinner with Gee Gee Eye,” said Dooley.

Pringles smiled. “CGI. Yeah, I guess they could. But right now they seem to feel that I’m still the right size for their purposes. And besides, they can tell me to lose weight all they want, I wouldn’t do it. They may own Thelma, but they don’t own me.”

“But Thelma owns you, so if she told you to lose weight, you’d have to do it, right?”

“Yeah, maybe if she told me I would do it,” Pringles agreed.

We had reached the staircase, and were on the verge of putting our paws on the top step, ready to head into the basement and test Pringles’s theory that the way up could only be reached by going all the way down first. But then there was another loud stumble above our heads, and this time it was accompanied by loud cursing as well. Whoever was up there must have stubbed their toe. And as dust rained down on us from between the cracks in the ceiling, another noise drew our attention.

“Will you be quiet already!” the person said. “Or do you want me to come up there!”

It came from the room where the supposedly dead person had been asleep on the bed.

We shared a look of excitement.

“If this person can go up there, there must be some passage from his room to the one above us!” said Pringles.

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