Private Investigations by Victoria Zackheim

Author:Victoria Zackheim [Zackheim, Victoria]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Basic Books
Published: 2020-04-21T00:00:00+00:00

I DON’T KNOW THIS WORD

– Rachel Howzell Hall –

I WAS THREE YEARS INTO MY THIRTIES, AND I KNEW LOTS of words.

Elysian.

Lollygag.

Bloviate.

Catawampus.

But then I came across a word I didn’t know.

Had never heard this word uttered before.

Since those doctor appointments had started three months after my thirty-third birthday, I’d learned fine-needle aspiration, palpate, ultrasound guidance, transducer.

I also knew cancer because everyone knows that word.

But this word?

No.

That September afternoon was the first time I’d heard it. That afternoon in September, I’d spelled that word like this:

f-i-l-l-o-d-e-e-z

During our telephone conversation, Dr. Brooks said that word. I stopped her and admitted that I didn’t understand. How, exactly, had pathology classified the five-centimeter tumor growing in my right breast? And can you spell that for me, please?

P-h-y-l-l-o-d-e-s.

A new word. Worse than defenestration. Worse than paresthesia. It was nefarious. Yes. This word was nefarious and described the cancerous mass created by rogue cells.

As I learned new words that related to my body, other words, nonmedical words, slammed into other soft places around my body. I would come home from a doctor’s appointment, and these words would be waiting for me in my mailboxes, both physical and digital. Words from editors that threatened to shred my will and disrupt my need to write after being poked and prodded all morning. I was surrounded by bad editorial words.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.