Princess Farts by Ben Scott Craig

Author:Ben Scott Craig
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: humor, parenting, fatherhood, stayathome dad, funny dad

My wife was definitely better with newborns, partially because of her breasts. Even though I wasn’t that good, I later believe that there was a bond that was established early with both of my girls. I felt like Robin and I had developed a very powerful connection with both of them. Yes, they were essentially vegetables in the beginning. But connections were still made during those first months. It all meant something: the sound of my voice, the smell of my unshowered armpits, and the warmth of my breath. I couldn’t see it back then. I probably didn’t believe that I was doing much good at the time. I thought I was just clumsily stumbling through the critical early months of a newborn’s life. I eventually believed that those first few months mattered more than I could fully understand.

In these early months, lots of responsibilities fell on me. If the sitter couldn’t make it, Utility Father came to the rescue. When my daughter was sick during the day, I had the flexibility to call off of work and take care of her. I maintained the house, cared for Emily, worked when I could, and planned for our family. I did it all. Although I tended to give my wife most of the credit, my role as the Utility Parent was important during these early stages.

In the beginning, it feels like the newborn stage is going to last forever. In some ways, it does. Life with kids is a paradox. Time can crawl and sprint ahead at the same time. Days drag on. The minutes of crying sometimes feel like hours. The sleepless nights are brutal. In this way, life with a newborn is much slower. Yet somehow, life accelerates too. My oldest daughter is four years old now. I have no idea where the time went.

If I could say anything to my pre-baby self, it would be this: The first few months will be really defeating. At times, you’ll feel tortured, battered, exhausted, angry, and useless. You’ll feel insecure taking your daughter outside at noon on a Tuesday. Do it anyway. Get over your own issues, and do what’s best for your little baby. With every poopy diaper, every spilled bottle, and washed swaddle, you are developing a sacred bond with your child. You may not believe that now, but it’s true. Even though the newborn challenges seem like they will continue forever, they don’t. Caring for newborns and even staying home with young children will only be a brief window of your life. The beginning is hard. It gets much easier. And it’s all worth it.

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