Pregnant With The Bad Boy by Lydia Hall

Author:Lydia Hall [Hall, Lydia]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2022-06-07T16:00:00+00:00

13

TUCKER

I’m so tired. Why does everything I do turn to shit? If I’m getting high and get into a fight, that’s my fault. But with Amber, I tried. I really did. Even when I try, I can’t make things work.

Part of me is resigned to staying in bed all day before I leave for my flight to California. Maybe I could get high or drunk or put another blast on social media and pull the party to end all parties.

None of that appeals to me, though. I’m pissed, and not ready to lie down and give up yet. There’s a hole burning inside of me that wants to get up and fight with everything I’ve got.

Before, I was fighting for me and Amber. But she’s a bitch. An amazing bitch, but a bitch, nonetheless. She’s just like the other girls. Only she’s not and I know it.

Before yesterday, I’d been thinking about Amber and how I want to be with her. Now, there’s a part of me that still wants that, but there’s also a part of me that wants her not to exist. I wish life was simple again. I’m so close to just giving up and giving in to my dark impulses of drink and drugs, but I’m gonna be a dad and I need to do something productive, whatever that it is.

I sit up in bed and grab my phone. I scroll through the contacts once more looking for someone or something that can help.

I’ve already put Josh through enough. I can’t keep burdening him with my problems. Especially as he’s in a similar situation, albeit he and Cait love each other.

Above Josh is Jimmy T. Yeah, a dopehead surfer. That’s exactly the kind of guy I need advice from about what to do and how-to-parent. Argh, why is it always so hard?

I throw my phone to the end of my bed and rub my eyes. There HAS to be an answer to all this.

I pick my phone back up and look at the screen. Ryan. That’s it. As much as I hate to admit it, Ryan knows his stuff. He’s a douche-grade nuclear asshole, but he should be able to offer me advice. Amber doesn’t want me to be part of our kids’ life. That means I’m gonna have to fight for custody if I wanna see them. Ryan’s smart, he’ll know what to do and how to do it.

I bounce out of bed. Today isn’t the day for giving up. Not when there’s a chance, I can do something worthwhile. Plus, all my shit is packed up and I’m all ready for the flight. I can get over to Ryan’s and back before I need to leave. Then maybe enjoy the flight thinking about the future and how the hell I’m going to be a good dad.

I throw on some clothes, swallow down a protein shake, and set off for Ryan’s.

I arrive at his door ready to go and knock three times.

“Tucker?” Ryan says with a hint of shock.

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