Cherry Pie: A Very Taboo Why Choose Novella by Daisy Jane

Author:Daisy Jane [Jane, Daisy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2022-10-31T16:00:00+00:00

Eight

“At first, I was only motivated by pain.” He strokes a hand down his face and neck, eyes unfocused and lost in thought. “I thought it wouldn’t last more than a couple of months. I thought as time went by, I’d be able to look at you and see more than what I’d lost.”

“You didn’t feel bad for me that I lost my mother and the only other adult that I ever had? You could have given me so much more. Even if it was just five words a day, a hug, one fucking trip to the park. You shut me out.”

“I know it’s hard for you to understand, Cherry, but… I just, I couldn’t move past my pain. I never intended Mari to be a forever thing. I thought she’d help out and get us through the first few months.” He leans back, finally meeting my eyes. In earnest, his face is wrecked with his own honesty, and I’ve never felt closer to him than I do now. And yet, I’ve never been angrier, either.

“And when did the plan change? When did Mari become… forever?”

His smile is sad. “She was never forever. But things hadn’t gotten better in those first two years and… she made it so much easier for me to detach. When you turned seven, I knew I needed her until you were eighteen. For your sake as much as mine. She brought you happiness and I just… I couldn’t.”

His truth is painful, but it unlocks me from so many things, too.

“Why did she need to go away? Because you’re ready to be the person you couldn't be?” It comes out bratty and I mean it bratty. But for the first time, I don’t want to mean it that way. My heart and brain have different agendas.

Despite my greatest wants, all of me softens with every one of his admissions.

“She was paid a great deal of money to stay as long as she did. Once we reevaluated all those years ago, we agreed steadfastly on eighteen.”

“So she left because it was the end of her contract? And that’s why you suddenly care where I go and who I go out with? Because I’m now an obligation you can no longer hire out or avoid?”

“You’re so angry, Cherry,” he says, and he’s right, I am and I have every right to be. But the way his voice breaks, how each syllable is filled with anguish–I’m very quickly losing my fight.

I’ve been fighting for so long.

To be seen.

To understand why.

And while they can never make up for what I’ve lost, and never undo the past, I am so tired of fighting, so tired of aching to be loved.

Even so, I fold my arms over my chest and remain silent.

“I have cared about you since the day I met you. When I dropped to my knees and pulled you into my arms, since that day, I’ve loved you, Cherry.”

I forbid my eyes to get wet and warm, so I lift my chin.

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