Positive Discipline Parenting Tools by Jane Nelsen Ed.D

Author:Jane Nelsen, Ed.D.
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Potter/TenSpeed/Harmony
Published: 2016-11-15T05:00:00+00:00

He had fun writing them all on his pie graph. The scented pens added to his enthusiasm. He wanted to “practice” writing them on a piece of scratch paper before he officially drew them on his poster board.

I loved how he handled it when he misspelled a word or when his circle wasn’t even. He just crossed out the word and rewrote it. I was tempted to give my two cents and step in to fix it for him, but I remembered how important it was for him to do it by himself. I could see the pride in his grin and his little happy dance movement in his chair. I was relieved when Reid patiently allowed his little brother to be involved by adding stickers to his finished project.

Reid was so proud when he held up his wheel of choice. Even Parker was proud. They were both posing for a photo, and Reid even wanted me to take a video as he described it.

About two hours later he had his first challenge: his older brother, Greyson, was saying, “Reid smells like a fart.” Then he started mimicking everything Reid said.

Reid came to me and said, “Greyson keeps bugging me.”

I said, “You’re having a challenging moment. Would it help you to go to your wheel of choice to choose something you could do?”

He went to his wheel of choice, looked at it, and did his own little process of elimination. He said, “I’ve already walked away and he keeps following me. I’m asking you for help.”

I asked, “What else could you try?”

Reid started taking deep breaths. Then he said, “I’m going to try asking him in a calm voice to please stop, and lie on the bed while you read us a book.”

It worked!

Before I could even fully process this magical moment, all three boys were lying next to me while we read a book.

One of the most valuable lessons I learned was that he had the tools and skills to solve his problems on his own. Knowing that he had his wheel of choice reminded me to not get involved in solving the problem. After all, getting me involved wasn’t one of his “solutions.” (Yes, asking me for help was one of his solutions, and I used my judgment to know he could find something that didn’t involve me. If he had been in physical danger I would have helped.)

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