Pitch Perfect by Bill McGowan

Author:Bill McGowan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2013-03-10T16:00:00+00:00

THE ELEMENTS OF CURIOSITY

The art of conversation seems to be going the way of the pay phone. Hardly anybody uses it, so you don’t find much of it around. That’s because many people mistakenly believe that the most important skill a conversationalist needs is the ability to talk endlessly. So they talk at people rather than with them.

In reality, the best conversationalists are extremely good listeners, and they display three rare characteristics:

Interest

Being a good conversationalist requires attentiveness and enthusiasm. It doesn’t mean that you have to create a new BFF. The trick is to listen for some nugget of information that inspires you to want to know more about a particular topic. For instance, if a client mentions that her husband just bought her a kayak for her birthday, that’s an opportunity to seize. It’s only natural to ask any of the following questions to gain greater insight:

• Are you an experienced kayaker or just learning it? (The answer would tell me whether she’s outdoorsy or a sports enthusiast.)

• Is there a place to use it near where you live? (Now I’ll know what community she lives in—and a way to take the conversation in a new direction.)

• Was this a surprise or had you asked for one? (This might give me some insight into what kind of relationship she has with her spouse.)

• Is this something you’ll just do on weekends or might you indulge midweek? (Her answer might tell me to what degree she’s married to her job.)

• Anybody else in the family already looking to get their hands on it? (Now I’ve opened the door to finding out if she has children—another topic on which we may find common ground.)

This approach provides you with a much more organic and less forced way to learn more about someone than the clumsier, straightforward questions we often ask: So what are your hobbies? Where do you live? What do you do for a living? What does your husband do? Do you have kids? Those sound like an interrogation, an unpleasant scenario for anyone.

Generosity

Your likability is central to your success; people will seek you out if you are a generous conversationalist. If you’re a selfish hog who talks only about yourself, you’ll quickly become known as the crashing bore everyone wants to avoid. But if you include people, ask for their input, seek out their stories, thoughtfully consider their dissenting opinions without bombastic ridicule, you will exude an aura others gravitate to.

Modesty

It’s easy to trick ourselves into thinking that modesty and humility have no place in today’s übercompetitive business world, where we’re all told to advertise ourselves as diligently as Disney markets the magic of its theme parks. But in the art of self-promotion, there’s no need to be shameless. It just requires a little finesse. If you come barreling up to a few strangers at a networking event and blindside them with your “elevator pitch,” you’re going to reek of desperation. I know it’s hard when you’re feeling a real

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