Nobody Will Tell You This But Me by Bess Kalb

Author:Bess Kalb
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Published: 2020-03-16T16:00:00+00:00

VOICE MAIL, OCTOBER 2012

Bessie, your mother says you’re angry with Charlie for keeping his job in San Francisco. You’re being ridiculous. You’re not going to stay in Los Angeles forever. You burn in the sun and you’re a terrible driver. And you really have no idea how long the Jimmy Kimmel job will last. They could fire you. Your mother says there are only two other women on the staff and you’ve never written for television before. What do you think you’re going to do? Become a comedian?

Though it’s true that when you were a little girl you used to do a comedy routine by the pool in Florida. It was very good. You must have been five years old. You’d walk up to the old people on their lounge chairs with their families and say hi. They all knew you: “Robin’s daughter”—already you had the exact same face. So you’d say hi and they’d ask you how your year was going, and you’d smile very sweetly and say, “Funny you ask. I learned to say the alphabet backward.” They’d be in shock. You were this little imp with these big blue eyes, very sincere. They always took the bait. “Really? Can you do it now?” You’d grow very serious, clear your throat, turn your back to them, and say the alphabet.

Anyway, don’t be angry with Charlie. Wait it out. Mark my words: he’ll move for you just like you moved to San Francisco for him. One of the things you got from me was your ability to hold a grudge. We don’t tolerate being wronged. It isn’t a good quality. It won’t serve you. Let it go. That boy loves you. He loves you even though he knows who you are. He worships the ground you walk on and he’s exactly right.

Rebook your ticket to Oakland for Friday.

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