Nathalia Buttface and the Most Embarrassing Dad by Nigel Smith

Author:Nigel Smith [Nigel Smith]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2015-02-03T05:00:00+00:00

“Ignore it,” said Dad, as a tomato caught her full in the face. “It’s probably a hilarious French tradition.”

“They hate us, Dad.”

“Don’t be silly. We have as much right to be here as anyone else. If I’ve learned one thing from Rocky, it’s that. We should be more like him.”

“I don’t want you to be like Rocky, you’re even more embarrassing when you try to be like Rocky,” said Nat, bits of red tomato dripping from her hair and down her nose, as if to prove her point.

“Head wound, emergency!” shouted Rocky, dashing forward and grabbing her.

“Eeeek,” went Nat as she was tipped horizontally. Rocky barked out orders for bandages and compresses and a needle and thread. Dad, suddenly worried, immediately left the rudder to find the first-aid box.

Rocky steered the barge with his foot, still holding the tomato-covered Nat. “Get off me,” she said angrily, trying to wriggle free, but her voice was muffled. Rocky had his huge hands round her head, trying to find the nonexistent wound.

“Get off her,” said Darius, who jumped on Rocky’s back and grabbed him round the head, trying to prise him off.

“Get off him,” said Dad, trying to pull Darius off Rocky.

“Get off ze boat NOW,” came a very loud voice through a megaphone. In all the chaos, no one had noticed a blue flashing light. It was the river police, who had pulled up alongside the barge in a little motor boat.

Nat was the first to react. She was so slippywith rotten fruit she slithered out of Rocky’s arms, jumped up and shouted: “I don’t know who any of these people are.”

“Nor me,” said Darius.

“Shut up, Darius,” she said. “And don’t say anything either, Dad, you’ll only make it worse.”

Then she realised she’d said ‘Dad’ and ‘Darius’, and threw herself to the deck in despair.

Around her was utter carnage. One wooden jousting barge was underwater, the other was sinking fast. The crowd were booing, the mayor was being led away in tears and the barge looked like a fruit and veg stall run by a drunk orangutan.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.