My Weirder-est School #12 by Dan Gutman

Author:Dan Gutman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2022-08-09T00:00:00+00:00

What’s the deal with clams?

I don’t understand.

They live in dirty water

and they don’t have hands.

I’m happy as I am.

Don’t wanna be a clam.

I’d rather be a lamb,

or a ham,

or a ram,

or a yam,

or just about anything but a clam.

Lemme give you a clue.

Here’s some things clams can’t do.

They can’t play ball

or go to the mall.

They can’t sing a song

or play Ping-Pong.

They can’t make pottery.

Can’t win the lottery.

They can’t build a dam.

They can’t ride a tram,

or hit a grand slam,

or pass an exam.

They can’t even post on Instagram.

Go for a walk?

Fly like a hawk?

They can’t even talk!

Maybe I’m spoiled

’cause I’ve never been boiled.

In my dreams, I don’t get steamed,

baked, broiled, pickled, or fried.

If I was a clam, I’d go and hide.

No, thank you, ma’am.

Don’t wanna be a clam.

Can’t say it any louder.

Don’t wanna be a chowder.

I don’t know why

we say they’re happy.

Seems to me

clam lives are @#$%^&!

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