Mothering Our Boys (US Edition) by Dent Maggie;

Author:Dent, Maggie;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Parenting
ISBN: 9780648431015
Publisher: Pennington Publications
Published: 2018-11-01T00:00:00+00:00

— Ian Grant, Growing Great Boys (2008).

“It is not unusual in our house with three DBs (5,7 & 8) for me to shout ‘are you using the drill/power tools?’ It is also not unusual to look into the yard and see a caveman-type tool has been fashioned out of branches, rocks and duct tape!” —Wackyboys Mom

The link between dopamine and attention has been the subject of research for many years. Dopamine is created by physical activity, having fun, being creative, problem-solving, learning fascinating new information and having freedom to explore the natural world. Dopamine is also created really easily with screen activity and many researchers are now concerned that excessive gaming and quick entertainment could be re-setting the dopamine receptors in our boys’ brains. More food for thought? Could we be contributing to higher levels of ADHD for our children, especially boys and Indigenous children, by not providing them with enough of these opportunities? It seems the further we get from those traditional communities, the sicker, sadder, fatter and more disconnected our young boys are becoming. These little boys have a tendency to grow into being angry, unhappy and unfulfilled men.

“I wish my mom had not stopped me playing sports.” — Men’s Survey 2017

As well as the ban on superhero play I mentioned earlier, we are also seeing early years, kindy and prep classes in some places banning tree climbing, outlawing playing ‘chasey’ and removing the sandpit to be replaced by more mat time, phonics in isolation, more desk work, less free play and homework for 4-year-olds. This is what I call the ‘schoolification’ of the early years. If I was a 5-year-old boy today, I would be angry too.

Another word on play comes from Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence and more recently, Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships. Goleman studied the work of neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp.

“The primal subcortical circuitry that prompts the young of all mammals to romp in rough and tumble play seems to have a vital part in the child’s neural growth. And the emotional fuel for all that development seems to be delight itself.”

— Daniel Goleman, Social Intelligence (2006).

This writing validates the common-sense notion that children benefit greatly from experiencing sustained moments of joy and delight. It appears that these moments of delight fertilize the growth of circuitry in the amygdala and frontal cortex of the brain. Panksepp studied the tickling response in mammals, finding that all mammals have ‘tickling skin’. In his studies, Panksepp found that children and other mammals were instinctively drawn to adults who tickle them. Apparently the tickle zone in children runs from the back of the neck and around the rib cage. I am sure many of us remember how hilarious it can be to be tickled by someone safe. The circuitry for playful joy has close ties to the neural networks that make a ticklish child laugh. This means our brain can become hardwired with an urge to play, one that hurls us into sociability.

Panksepp argues that

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