Microsoft Word - Adams, Douglas - HH - The Lost Chapters.rtf by Skip

Author:Skip [Skip]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 53

The treacherous trio and the soulful solo passed through the entrance

of the initiative test. A large panel slid over the entrance, shutting

them in. Large stark letters on the panel confirmed this with a smug

'THERE'S NO BACKING OUT NOW'. Arthur felt a "so this is it, we're going to die" scramble up his throat, but he fought it back to use when times really got bad. He followed Zaphod and Ford into the storeroom.

"Okay guys," ordered Zaphod. "Grab as much stuff as you can carry."

"But the android said we could only take three things," protested Arthur, his subconscious training to be an Englishman, a gentleman and,

most importantly of all, a good sportsman backing him to the hilt.

"Nuts to the android," said Zaphod, his subconscious cowardice backing him from a safe distance. "No excuses for the pun, if it feels

embarrassed it can excuse itself."

"Right, let's see," said Ford. "Damn, I've left my satchel outside.

"So?" Asked Zaphod, rummaging through piles of weapons.

"My towel's in there!" Exclaimed Ford, heartbroken. Something hit him on the back of the head.

"There, don't sulk," said Zaphod as Ford picked the towel off the floor.

"It wont be the same," sulked Ford.

"It all seems junk to me," said Arthur. "What do you think, Marvin?"

"More than you could possibly imagine," sighed Marvin.

"Cheer up Marvin," said Ford, brighter after finding the towel

impregnated with mopped up Old Janx Spirit. "You must have lost the

pain in all the diodes down your...."

"I brought it with me," interrupted Marvin, haughtily. "Life wouldn't be the same without it."

"For God's sake don't start him off on life," said Arthur.

"Come on, guys," said Zaphod testily "The times they are a-changing.

Let's get a move on. Remember I've got a rather important appointment

with 30 mega-billion viewers, all of them waiting to see the numero uno

get hitched. I mean, the advertising revenue alone will buy me a

holiday planet somewhere and the commercial spin offs.... I've got

Trillian dolls which say 'I do' when you dig them in the ribs, Zaphod

dolls which say the same only you have to twist their arms,

presentation Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy wedding covers which bear

the Inscription 'Don't Panic, there's always divorce'. If I don't

deliver the goods, they don't either, if you get my meaning."

"I m glad to see the values of marriage haven't been lost on you,

Zaphod," said Arthur, trying to decide between a mirror and a box of

matches.

"Now this is the sort of thing I've been looking for," said Zaphod, leaving his other head to ponder the expected turnover of his wedding.

"This Neutron-Breaking Desolation Ray Gun will do for a start."

"I don't know why you're all bothering with this," observed Marvin.

"Zark off, Marvin," said Ford, grabbing a bag of gold coins. "Do something useful."

"I'm going for a walk," said Marvin.

"Very useful, thanks a bundle," shouted Arthur.

"Okay," said Zaphod. "I've got the Ray Gun, the heat seeking Davy knife, the laser spear and that murder grenade over there, if you could

pass it to me, Ford."

"Sounds like you're about to embark on what the Americans on Earth used to call a 'Peace Keeping Exercise'," said Arthur.

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