Matt Millz by Harry Hill

Author:Harry Hill [Harry Hill]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780571332502
Publisher: Faber & Faber
Published: 2017-11-23T05:00:00+00:00

To call Biddleden a one-horse town would be an insult to horses. It was more of a one-goat town. It had a post office with combined mini-mart and a pub – and that was it. Even the mobile library didn’t stop there, in fact it sped up as it approached the place. The one thing it did have, however, was a thriving Women’s Institute for whom the annual Cheese and Wine Party was the highlight of the year.

‘Welcome to the Biddleden Parish Rooms, I’m Margaret Hudd and you must be Master Mills the entertainer!’ said a tiny elderly lady with white hair and a Zimmer frame at the front door of the venue.

‘Stand-up comic really,’ said Matt, shaking her hand. ‘Call me Matt. I like the sign!’ He nodded towards the large handwritten poster stuck to the front of her Zimmer frame showing details of the Cheese and Wine Party.

‘Yes, well, it pays to advertise!’ she said gamely.

‘That’s right,’ thought Matt. ‘If you sell out tonight I can see you being offered the Nike advertising account.’

He suddenly had a picture in his head of hundreds of old ladies in Nike trainers dancing with Zimmer frames to a Jay Z track.

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