MASH Series Omnibus by Richard Hooker & William E. Butterworth

Author:Richard Hooker & William E. Butterworth
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Humorous, War & Military, Fiction

* * *

Chapter Four

Wesley St. James, glowering ferociously at Don Rhotten’s junior assistant associate executive producers, passed through the powder-blue door with the gold star and the words DON RHOTTEN and entered the sanctum sanctorum of television journalism’s most beloved young sage.

Mr. Rhotten, wig, caps, and contacts in place and shepherded by Mr. Seymour G. Schwartz and two public relations experts, was in the process of granting an interview to a member of the printed media. This was, of course, a singular honor and privilege, and the printed media person was suitably impressed. Mr. Schwartz and the public relations men had had the foresight to buy the printed media person lunch before interview time and had succeeded in getting the gentleman quite plastered.

Just in case the printed media person’s notes should be incomplete or a bit illegible, the public relations people had thoughtfully prepared a neatly typewritten transcript, perfectly suitable for use, in which Mr. Rhotten would come across as a thoughtful practitioner of his profession and dedicated to the highest principles of journalism, and the printed media person had asked questions he hadn’t even thought of.

Some strange noises were heard. First a “Cheep, cheep, cheep” chirping sound, followed by a dull, flat crack, as if someone had stamped his feet on the floor. The printed media person shook his head to focus his eyes. He looked at Don Rhotten. A wide smile was now on his normally solemn face.

The “Cheep, cheep, cheep, slam, slam” sequence of sounds was repeated. Then, beaming with joy, Don Rhotten rose from behind his rosewood desk, where he had just discoursed at length on the problems France was having with its atomic power program.

He now had his elbows at his sides, his arms folded upward with the hands balled into fists under his chin. As the printed media person watched, Mr. Rhotten curled his upper lip up over his upper teeth, concealed his lower teeth with his lower lip, went “Cheep, cheep, cheep,” and then jumped twice into the air, both feet at once, each time slamming them together onto the floor. “Don-Baby, I’ve asked you… .”

“Shut up, Seymour,” Don Rhotten snarled. “You’ve always been a spoilsport!”

From behind the printed media person, a strange apparition appeared. It was a small human being with a blond Afro and a blue Mao-Nehru jacket with gold buttons, and it, too, had its arms folded up, its fists balled under its chin. It bounded into the room in little jumps, both feet in the air at once, making “Cheep, cheep, cheep” noises from behind exposed teeth.

“Cheep, cheep, cheep,” Don Rhotten went again. He bounced into the center of the room, his feet going slam, slam, slam on the thick carpet.

“Hi, there, Big Bunny!” the strange apparition in the blond Afro chirped.

“Hello, Little Bunny!” Don Rhotten replied, jumping up and down. “How’s things in the briar patch?”

“Uncle Ralph,” the little man said, jumping over to him and kissing him wetly on the forehead, “Little Bunny’s glad to see you,

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.