M*A*S*H Goes to New Orleans by Richard Hooker & William E. Butterworth

Author:Richard Hooker & William E. Butterworth [Hooker, Richard & Butterworth, William E.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction, Humor, Historical Fiction, War, Comedy, Medical, Media Tie-In, Tv, Movie, United States, Military
ISBN: 9780671784904
Publisher: Pocket Books
Published: 1975-01-01T05:00:00+00:00

SEMINAR ON TECHNIQUES OF VASECTOMY.

ADMISSION RESTRICTED TO FELLOWS OF

THE TA & VD SOCIETY.

Ace Travers followed her into the room. It had been set up as a sort of theater, or classroom. A projection screen was at the far end of the room, and a camera, with film ready to roll, was by the door. Next to the screen, a lectern had been set up. Their entrance caused a speaker to interrupt himself and frown in their direction.

“May I help you, miss?” the speaker said. And here, thought Ace’ Travers, is where: we get the old heave-ho.

“Sorry to be late, Doctor,” Ms. Prudence MacDonald said. “But Dr. Travers and I were delayed by Dr. Burns. He insisted on examining my vas deferens.”

There was general, appreciative, warm laughter.

“Old Frankerino Burns is a real card,” the. speaker said. “Please take a seat. I was just in the process of introducing our guest speaker. You haven’t missed a thing.”

There was nothing to do but sit down. Ace Travers tried to look properly medical. He had to admit, and his heart warmed at the thought, that Prudence had sneaked their way in here in a really professional manner.

“As I was saying,” the speaker said, “when our colleagues joined us, Doctor Michaelangelo Fetterizzini, whom I am privileged to call my friend, has long been in the forefront, the vanguard, of our profession, to which he came after giving up a thriving practice in lipectomological surgery. It is my, great honor, indeed my personal privilege, to introduce to you, my colleagues, Michaelangelo Fetterizzini, Fellow of the American Tonsil, Adenoid and Vas Deferens Society.”

As Dr. Fetterizzini made his way, to the applause of his colleagues, to the lectern, Ace Travers leaned over and whispered in Ms. Prudence MacDonald’s ear. With his nose close up, he thought that she smelled delightful and that he had seldom seen a more shapely ear. He was so caught up in these thoughts that he almost forgot what he had in mind. Then he remembered:

“What do you say we sneak out of here while the sneaking’s good?”

“Not on your life,” Prudence said. “And if you blow in my ear one more time, I’ll throw you through that movie screen.”

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