Loving Someone With Attention Deficit Disorder: A Practical Guide to Understanding Your Partner, Improving Your Communication, and Strengthening You by Susan Tschudi

Author:Susan Tschudi [Tschudi, Susan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Family & Relationships, Learning Disabilities
ISBN: 9781608822300
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Published: 2012-05-03T00:00:00+00:00

Recovering from Anger

Your anger may serve the purpose of protecting you from feeling helpless or vulnerable. Perhaps it is the result of unrecognized grief. Or it could be both, as it was with Melinda. As you endeavor to gain insight and awareness, here are some guidelines for better equipping yourself to handle your anger.

Externalize the ADHD

When you feel angry at your partner because of something she has or hasn’t done, try to remember to tell yourself that ADHD is causing the behavior. Over time we tend to think of ADHD behavior as a character issue: What kind of a person would treat another with so much disrespect! Regardless of how it may appear, your partner who has ADHD is aware at some level of how the behaviors may be affecting your life, and she would like nothing better than to be rid of the problematic behaviors forever. So the next time you find yourself gritting your teeth because of something your partner with ADHD has done or said (or not done or said), rather than get angry at her, try to tell yourself, There it goes again; that’s the ADHD acting up. Reminding yourself to externalize the ADHD behavior will transform it from a character issue into an impairment. Get mad at ADHD, not your partner.

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