Lovesick by Katie Cross

Author:Katie Cross [Cross, Katie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: KC Writing

20

JJ

Darkness coated the world in shadows by the time Mom stopped talking about her new position at work. It would have felt cozy if my mind wasn’t spinning so much.

Why was Mom here?

“Enough about me.” She jumped onto the counter and plucked off another thin sliver of brioche. “You’ve got something new going on, don’t you?”

I lifted one eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

She gestured around us. “Brioche bread. There was a tart in the fridge when I pulled it open. Half of a croissant left on Lizbeth’s plate in the house. I happen to know none of that was purchased. So, what’s going on?”

My plan wasn’t really mine to reveal. I was a small cog in a greater machine, just the way I liked it.

“Baking is a fun challenge. I’m trying it out.”

“You’re a very intelligent man, JJ. You’re calculated. You only take a risk if it’s one you know you can tackle. It’s why you’re so good at climbing, and also why you keep Mark in check. So, what is it?”

I blew out a long breath. “I do have something in the works. I can’t give details yet, but it would satisfy my . . . need to move on to something new without actually leaving.”

Her expression softened. “You’re trying to stay, aren’t you?”

Stability wasn’t a forte of Mark and me. We’d spent so many years bumming around because it felt good. The freedom of that life was exhilarating. But it was also wearying. Made it difficult to stay stable. I missed the mountains, Meg, and my parents deeply at times. At thirty years old, it was time to try something new.

“Yeah,” I said. “I am.”

Her smile seemed at once mysterious and wise. “It’s hard, but there are some amazing advantages to staying in the same place for more than ten seconds. Well, I trust you to tell me in your time. But if not that, at least tell me what’s going on with you and Lizbeth.”

The explanation I’d rehearsed while Mom had been speaking turned to mere letters in my brain. I couldn’t put them into sentences that made sense anymore. She’s working for Mark as a friend was true but misleading. It was more than that, and I wanted to be wholly honest with her.

The way they hadn’t been with me.

“I don’t know.”

Her brows rose. “That’s not what I expected. You’re one of the most self-aware and articulate people I’ve ever met. C’mon, JJ. You have to know you feel something for her. I can see it in the two of you. In the way you look at her.”

“It’s not . . . I just . . . I really don’t know. We’re friends. I . . . what do you want me to say?”

“That you’ll fall in love, have babies, and not move away ever again.”

I shot her a glare.

She shrugged. “You asked.”

“It doesn’t feel right to move on it.”

“You mean ask her out.”

“Yes.”

“Well, why not?”

“That’s what I don’t know.”

She frowned. “Something to do with me and your father, maybe? Afraid to fail like we did?”

That was Mom.

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