Love Your Life by Sophie Kinsella
Author:Sophie Kinsella [Kinsella, Sophie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2020-10-27T00:00:00+00:00
Fourteen
Famous last words. Sure enough, two hours later, Matt looks utterly beleaguered. God knows what heâs agreed to do for Maud, but sheâs been monopolizing him and saying things like âIâll text you the detailsâ and even handing him Royal Mail notices about parcels. In the last conversation between them, I overheard the phrases âpassport office,â and âschool run,â and âso kind.â
Well, heâll learn.
By now weâre all sprawled on the picnic rugs, searching for the last of the cava. Maudâs children were eventually located trying to cadge food from another family picnic and corralled back to ours. Now, having heard that Matt does martial arts, theyâre attacking him with âkung fuâ punches.
âIâm going to beat you up!â Bertie yells at Matt for about the hundredth time.
âStop it, Bertie, my love,â says Maud, glancing up briefly. âMatt, Iâm so sorry, only he does adore martial arts.â
âItâs fine,â says Matt good-humoredly, although I see him flinch as Bertie prepares to kickbox him again.
âIâve found it,â Nell addresses Matt, looking up from her phone. âââThe fundamental problems with Harrietâs House: a feminist viewpoint.â Itâs a blog. I knew Iâd seen it. Have you read it?â
âCanât remember, Iâm afraid,â says Matt, looking even more beleaguered. He and Nell have been debating Harrietâs House all afternoonâat least, Nell has been telling him how patriarchal and misogynistic it is, and heâs been occasionally offering replies like, âWe have a new feminist line of character dolls,â which barely causes her to break stride.
âââWho buys into this capitalist, exploitative version of girlhood?âââ Nell reads out with a thunderous frown. âââWhat architects of bullshit think to create such a misleading fantasy world?â You should read the piece, Matt,â she adds, offering him her phone. âItâs good.â
âRight,â says Matt, without moving to take the phone. âYes. Maybe laterâ Oof!â
Bertie has landed a vicious blow on Mattâs chest, and finally Maud raises her voice.
âBertie! Stop attacking Matt! Justâ¦You mustnâtâ¦â She takes another gulp of cava, then heaves a massive sigh. âOh God. Itâs my birthday.â
I exchange looks with Nell and Sarika, because this is what always happens on Maudâs birthday. She gets drunk and morose and starts saying sheâs ancient and usually ends up weeping in a taxi.
âIâm so old,â she says, right on cue. âSo old. Whereâs the other bottle?â
As she gets to her feet, she sways dangerously on her wedges, and I see that sheâs been quietly getting more drunk than Iâve realized.
âMaud, youâre not old,â I say reassuringly, as I always do. But she ignores me, as she always does.
âHow did we get this old?â she says with a dramatic flourish, grabbing the last full bottle of cava and swigging from it. âHow? You realize weâre going to disappear?â She narrows her eyes. âWeâll be invisible women, all of us. Ignored and belittled.â She takes another glug of cava and sweeps a hand around to include all of us. âThatâs the wretched society we live in. But I wonât be invisible, OK?â she gives a sudden impassioned cry, gesticulating with the cava bottle.
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