Lawyers vs. Demons: And other odd short stories by Unknown

Author:Unknown
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-03-25T00:00:00+00:00

The Great Yoga Riot of Beverly Hills

Yogi Vinrasha Himdalay felt like a new man when he left the quaint little ashram in a remote corner of India. The mystic secrets imparted to him during his six-month intensive yoga retreat left his third eye open wide to the world, his chakras aligned, and his chi flowing in perfect harmony.

When Yogi Vinrasha Himdalay (formerly known as Burt Thompson) settled into his first-class seat, bound for his immensely popular yoga studio in Beverly Hills, he felt confident that he was bringing home with him not only a new series of asanas to share with his loyal followers, but also a new way of life. One his celebrity clientele would undoubtedly adopt with gusto.

Burt wasn’t always a yoga guru to the slightly damaged rich and famous of Los Angeles. He’d sold frozen steaks (but was now a vegetarian of course), was a waiter at a chic beachfront restaurant on the Malibu coast, and had even spent time as a process server for a particularly nasty divorce attorney, thanks to a hookup from one of the tattooed Russian line cooks he worked with.

It was that last job, actually, that had led to his indoctrination into the ways of yoga.

Donny “The Beast” McNabb was a mid-level pro wrestling star with hair as long as his temper was short. Burt had been serving him with divorce papers all those years ago when his life was changed forever.

The huge man was outside the arena following one of his bouts, taking pictures and posing with fans. To say he hadn’t taken kindly to the handsome, sandy-haired beach bum casually handing him a court summons under guise of asking for an autograph would be an understatement. The Beast’s one saving grace was that there were no witnesses willing to make a statement against him. So it was that once Burt was released from the hospital with no lawsuit possible, he wound up in a workers’ comp-mandated physical therapy program.

Once the casts were removed, of course.

It had been hard going, for a time. His joints were constantly sore, and his muscles were tight and stiff, but as fate would have it, one of the physical therapists (the surprisingly strong Filipino woman who performed the excruciating cross-fiber friction massage on his healing tendons) mentioned that yoga might be a low-impact and less-painful way for him to regain his strength and mobility.

Anything was better than her painful manhandling, so he gave it a try.

Fifteen years later, Burt Thompson was no more, replaced by Yogi Vinrasha Himdalay, guru to the stars, a man who had grown his humble workshops into the most popular yoga studio on the Westside.

For whatever reason, he was something of a magnet for the damaged people of Los Angeles, drawing scores of recovering addicts to his classes, right alongside the raw and vegan lifestyle models who liked his calm demeanor almost as much as his surfer good looks.

Actually it made perfect sense. Early on in his practice, he had applied

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.