Kids Are Worth It! by Coloroso Barbara

Author:Coloroso, Barbara [Coloroso, Barbara]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Family & Relationships, Parenting, General, Conflict Resolution, Child Rearing
ISBN: 0380719541
Google: p-ln2rx0vrwC
Amazon: 0060014318
Barnesnoble: 0060014318
Goodreads: 43273
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 1994-01-01T07:00:00+00:00

A backbone parent views conflict not as a contest but as a crisis. "Of course," you say, "what's new about that? Every time my kids fight or I have a fight with my spouse, it sure seems like a crisis to me!" You're right, but the difference is that we are used to thinking of a crisis as something negative to be avoided. Crisis is a neutral term meaning "a sudden change or turning point in a situation." The Chinese were keenly aware of the connection between crisis, danger, and opportunity. Wei-ji, the Chinese term for "crisis," is made up of the characters for "danger" and "opportunity." A backbone parent doesn't attack or flee from conflict but embraces it, seeing it as a challenge and an opportunity to grow. ("I need to talk with you about this." "We can work this out." "It's okay to be angry; it is not okay to hit your brother.") Embrace is not exactly the word that comes to mind when we find ourselves in conflict with our children, but it sure beats the alternatives of fight or flight.

Your sixteen-year-old daughter just walked in wearing an outfit you told her she couldn't wear—it's yours. She didn't unload the dishwasher as she said she would—in fact she put dirty dishes in with the clean ones. And she's hanging around with a kid you don't like.

The brick-wall parent tends to lock herself physically and mentally into a fighting stance. The space called home becomes

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