Kickass Copywriting in 10 Easy Steps by Susan M. Gunelius
Author:Susan M. Gunelius [Gunelius, Susan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781613081907
Publisher: Entrepreneur Press
Product: Beachtown Jewelry Repair—jewelry repairs
Feature: local business for 20 years, member of local chamber of commerce
Benefit: trustworthy
Beachtown Jewelry Repair wants customers to understand they can drop off their fine jewelry for repairs and not worry about their items being lost or stolen. The owner thinks the best way to communicate this trustworthiness is by letting customers know she has been in business for over twenty years and belongs to the local chamber of commerce. She creates copy that says, “Visit Beachtown Jewelry Repair—your local jeweler and proud member of the Beachtown Chamber of Commerce for 20 years.” This copy certainly tells customers the features the owner thinks customers need to know to deem her trustworthy, but it doesn’t offer much incentive for customers to visit the shop.
Many customers are not fazed by the overused claims of affiliations that local businesses tout in advertisements. Being a member of the local chamber of commerce does not motivate customers to choose Beachtown Jewelry Repair over any other jewelry store (some of which are probably also members of the local chamber of commerce). If the owner changes her copy to focus on her customers’ needs and emotional triggers while eliminating extraneous information, she will create copy that is more action-oriented. For example, revised copy could say, “Beachtown Jewelry Repair has carefully and meticulously repaired Beachtown residents’ personal treasures for the past 20 years. You can trust your finest jewelry to our expert, secure hands.” The copy no longer mentions Beachtown Jewelry Repair’s membership in the local chamber of commerce. Instead, it focuses on customers’ needs for security and trust when they choose a jeweler to repair their expensive items.
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