Just Stupid! by Andy Griffiths & Terry Denton

Author:Andy Griffiths & Terry Denton
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: MacMillan
Published: 2007-11-13T16:00:00+00:00

‘How dare you!’ she splutters. ‘How dare you throw beer in my face!’

I must have been too quick. Natasha doesn’t seem to realise what has happened. Before I can explain, she picks up her glass of red wine and throws it at me.

I duck.

She looks past me and puts her hand over her mouth. I turn around.

It’s Dirk. The wine has gone all over his shirt. He looks like he’s splattered with blood.

‘Sorry, Dirk,’ she says. ‘I wasn’t aiming for you. It was meant for him.’

‘Why?’ says Dirk. ‘Did he hurt you?’

‘He threw beer in my face,’ says Natasha.

‘He what?’ says Dirk. His face goes as red as his shirt.

He picks up a breadstick. It’s a giant one— more like a club than a breadstick.

‘I’ll teach you to throw beer in a lady’s face,’ he says.

‘No, you don’t understand,’ I say. ‘Her hair was on fire.’

‘You set her hair on fire?’ he says.

‘Yes,’ I say. ‘Well, no. I mean I did, but I didn’t mean to. I was just giving her some flowers.’

‘They were from me as well,’ says Danny.

Dirk’s face is twisted with rage.

‘You tried to give my girlfriend flowers?’

I’m backed up against the table next to Natasha’s. Dirk steps towards me. I realise that nothing I can say will calm him down.

I reach behind me for a weapon. My hands close on something soft and oily. I look down. I’ve got three olives.

‘Stop right there!’ I say to Dirk.

But he keeps right on coming.

I throw one of the olives at him. He uses the breadstick to bat it clear across the restaurant. It hits the front window and splatters like a bug on a windscreen.

‘Andy!’ yells Mum. ‘Stop that!’

She is standing up, hands on her hips, glaring at me.

‘What about him?’ I say.

Mum looks at Dirk.

‘You stop it too,’ she says.

But Dirk doesn’t stop. He takes a step towards me.

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