Jacob Two-Two Meets the Hooded Fang by Mordecai Richler

Author:Mordecai Richler [Richler, Mordecai]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-1-77049-072-7
Publisher: Tundra
Published: 2009-03-24T16:00:00+00:00

CROCODILE STEAK

or

TART OF DEATH-WATCH BEETLE

ELECTRIC EEL SOUP

or

SNAKEBURGERS

NETTLE PIE

“Whatever you do,” warned Pete, “don’t take the electric eel soup.”

“Why?” asked Jacob Two-Two. “Why?”

“Because,” said Oscar, “it’s shocking.”

At another long table, Jacob Two-Two noticed a little boy crying. A girl, maybe four years old, kept calling, “I want my mommy.” Oscar looked sad. So did Pete. And Jacob Two-Two was bursting to tell them about his supersonic bleeper and how all their troubles would soon be over, because any day now the leaders of Child Power, the fearless O’Toole and the intrepid Shapiro, would track them down and liberate everybody. But before he could whisper his secret, all the other children began to shriek, some even hiding their eyes, as the dreaded Hooded Fang padded into the dining hall, growling and baring his fangs. Suddenly, The Hooded Fang frowned. “I know my audience,” he bellowed. “I’ve got antennas. There’s a little stinker in here somewhere who isn’t trembling for me. Would he please stand up?”

Jacob Two-Two was about to rise, but Oscar held him down on one side, and Pete on the other.

“If you’re not afraid,” Oscar whispered, “you must pretend.”

But it was too late. The Hooded Fang was already upon them, glaring down at Jacob Two-Two.

“So it’s you, is it, Two-Two? I’ll soon fix that. But first,” he said, striding to the raised platform at the head of the dining hall, children scattering left and right as he passed, “I must tell all of you why we are here tonight. We are here to honor Mr. Fox and present him with this month’s Rotten-to-Children Award. And, furthermore, I must tell you that as Mr. Fox has been so splendidly cruel here, so rough and tough with little brats, he is being promoted. Mr. Fox will be leaving us. He’s going to London. Undercover work. An entirely new division.” Here The Hooded Fang paused, his smile vile. “Toy Shop Sabotage.”

Going to London? Heedless of any danger to himself, Jacob Two-Two raced to Mr. Fox’s side and tugged urgently at his sleeve. “When are you leaving?” he demanded. “When are you leaving?”

“Why, tonight,” said Mr. Fox, beaming as he flashed the supersonic bleeper at Jacob Two-Two, “tonight, right after the party.”

“Then give me back my bleeper right now,” cried Jacob Two-Two twice.

In reply, Mr. Fox shook with laughter and gave Jacob Two-Two a shove, sending him sprawling.

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