Ivan the Terrible by Anne Fine

Author:Anne Fine
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2011-11-14T16:00:00+00:00

‘Right,’ I told everyone. ‘Ivan has written: “What’s closest to me is Vladivostock, the great port city in the far east of Russia, where I was born.”’

He could have been born in a barrel floating down the Volga for all I knew. But my mum came from Vladivostock. I might not be totally up to date on the place, but after spending hours on her knee hearing old stories about her childhood, I could at least have a go.

Miss Honeyman had turned to look at Ivan fondly. ‘That’s very sweet and loyal of him,’ she said, ‘to choose his own country to write about.’

Ivan gave her a beaming smile back.

‘Go on,’ said Miss Honeyman. ‘Read out the next bit, Boris.’

The next bit said, ‘I find these grey lumps of chewed matter, with Boris’s teethmarks still in them, even more offensive than the sweet wrappers and pencil sharpenings that he has so unthinkingly strewn around all four legs of what is now my chair.’

I definitely wasn’t going to read out that. So what I said was: ‘“Vladivostock is noted for its huge harbour, which freezes up for three months every year, and for its vast and useful railway station. There is also an excellent museum.”’

The class were beginning to yawn now. Even Miss Honeyman’s eyes were glazing over.

‘Fascinating,’ she murmured.

I glanced through the next chunk of Ivan’s Russian.

‘Clearly the school takes a very casual attitude towards cleanliness. I notice that, although it has not rained today, the floor tiles are thick with muddy footprints. It leads me to wonder if British parents have failed to explain to their children the concept of wiping their feet.’

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