Impossible Love, The Complete Before You Go Series by James Clare

Author:James, Clare [James, Clare]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: C.J. Books
Published: 2014-02-07T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter 43

My phone beeps continuously with texts from Noah. I immediately hit delete. I have three days before the article will be in the paper. Three days to prepare myself and my family. Three days to be normal before it all starts again.

I pile into my nest and wait for the storm. That’s the thing about depression, it isn’t soft and quiet, lulling me to sleep. At least that’s not how it begins. It’s loud, ringing anxiety. A pacing in my brain that only subsides after it runs its course—taking me where it wants, making me relive the things I don’t want to think about, blaming me over and over again until it’s satisfied. When finally my brain and body shut down.

It’s only then that the hole inside my chest shrinks. I remember this all too well. I rock myself into submission, into the comatose state where used to spend my time. I hold my head in my hands and everything goes foggy. My eyes are heavy and my body feels like hardening cement.

I bury myself under the pile of covers on my bed, hoping I can hide here. Hoping it won’t find me again. My head throbs until I drift off.

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