I'm Saying No! by Beverly Engel

Author:Beverly Engel
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: She Writes Press
Published: 2019-11-16T16:00:00+00:00

Goals of Chapter 7

The main goal of this chapter has been to educate you about the benefits of releasing anger in healthy ways and to provide you with helpful suggestions as to how you can go about it. Another goal is to help you work past your resistance to owning and releasing your righteous anger over having been sexually violated in the past. And finally, it is about helping you turn your fear and helplessness and hopelessness into action.

No! Exercise

Even though it is usually not safe or recommended to actually confront your attacker, you can still have the experience of confronting him in your imagination. Many former victims report that imagining confronting their abuser or attacker felt almost as good as they imagined it would if they had done it in reality.

Find words for what you want to say to your attacker. Examples: “I hate you!” “Don’t touch me!” “Get the hell away from me!” “You disgust me!”

Walk around your house and say these words out loud or imagine you are facing the confronter as he sits in a chair across from you (again, tie him up, blindfold him, and gag him if you need to in order to feel safe).

Notice how it feels to confront your abuser(s) like this. If you still have too much fear of your attacker to confront him, think about all the men who have harassed you, pressured you, thrown insults at you, or violated you in any way sexually. Tell them how you feel about them! Say “No!”

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