I Had A Date Last Night by The Secret Singleton

Author:The Secret Singleton
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: The Secret Singleton
Published: 2016-03-15T00:00:00+00:00

WHAT HAVE I LEARNT?

I can’t move my boundaries to fit in with another person. If they are a smoker and I am not I just can’t do it, however much I want it, it just goes against the grain.

DATING DILEMA, DO YOU SEE YOUR MALE FRIENDS WHEN DATING YOUR NEW FELLA?

When you start dating someone special you want to spend all of your time with him. The beginnings of a relationship can be full of fun and it takes a while to settle into a routine that works for both of you. It’s not easy to strike a happy balance where you can fit in a new boyfriend work and a social life. But what happens to all your friends that you have based your social life on before you met Mr. Right. Do you suddenly drop them for your new BF? Do your friends understand that you are tied up with other commitments? Do you feel guilty that you have found happiness and they are still left on the shelf? Or do you play the juggling game?

Over the years I have made single girlfriends who I’ve gotten close to. We’ve ended up speaking to each other everyday. I know everything about their world and they in turn know about mine. But sometimes a great friendship changes direction and your best buddy isn’t so quick to pick up the phone and make social arrangements. Obviously your friendship isn’t as important to them as it used to be. I realise that so-called friends who drop you at the last minute to make way for their love interest are not genuine friends in the first place.

But you owe it to your old friends to keep in touch and stay loyal, you don’t want to be known as “Billy no mates” if things might go wrong and the new boyfriend might move on.

The signs are there even if my friends haven’t mentioned the new BF; I know they have started seeing someone by the shift in their behaviour. They suddenly become very elusive when I ask,” What have you been up to at the weekends?” Even though I am genuinely happy for my friends I do find this upsetting. I don’t think it’s right to be suddenly dropped because a new man is in their world but this is how it is.

What happens when you start dating and your male friends want to catch up with you? Do you bring your new boyfriend along to meet them? It’s a bit of a grey area. If your boyfriend is understanding and secure in your relationship, then he wouldn’t mind being left out of the evening. I would always tell him that you were meeting up with an old friend and would he be ok with that? Your male friend might want to discuss subjects that he only feels comfortable discussing with you. If he states that he feels uncomfortable then you could always say he could join you both later on in the evening as your friend has certain things he wants to discuss on a one to one.

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