I Barfed on Mrs. Kenly by Jessica Harper

Author:Jessica Harper
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Group US

So Courtney got to shout “Change!” whenever she wanted to switch the radio station. This happened about every forty-five seconds because they kept landing on commercials.

Some guy yelled about used cars:“I want YOU, on Michigan Ave-NUE!

Get ’em while they’re HOT!

No need to spend a LOT!”

“Change!” (Watermelon breath.)

On the next station, an actress screamed about toothpaste:“BRUSHA, BRUSH, BRUSH,

DON’T BRUSH IN A RUSH ... !”

It seems like people on the radio always think they have to yell or you won’t hear them.

“Change!”

“Honey, just gimme five minutes, please?” Mr. Kling was desperate.

“Fine!” Courtney said, like it was so NOT fine, but they switched to the game anyway.

“THAT ONE SPLITS THE UPRIGHTS AND THE BEARS ARE STILL IN THE HUNT FOR THE WILD CARD!”

I wasn’t at all sure what the sports announcer meant, but Mr. Kling seemed happy.

“YES!” he shouted.

“Change!” Courtney ordered.

“Aw, baby, just a couple minutes.” Mr. Kling was begging now.

Between the radio wars and the ant song and the watermelon gum, I was feeling pretty rocky. I imagined the pancakes in my stomach making faces and complaining, like the twins do when they’re trapped in their high chairs.

But what was I going to do, say, “Excuse me, you don’t happen to have a bag handy, do you? I need to barf quietly here in the backseat.” Or, “Excuse me, can you open the window and let in some air that’ll freeze your eyebrows off so I won’t throw up and ruin the party?” I mean, I couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t be just as embarrassing as barfing, so I kept quiet.

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