How to Outrun a Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied by Jess Keating

Author:Jess Keating
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc.
Published: 2014-04-20T21:00:00+00:00

chapter 10

“In most African biomes, predators and prey must share the same watering hole.”

—Animal Wisdom

I bet Africa feels a lot like junior high then. Only here the predators wear skirts and the prey can’t move as quickly as gazelles.

Sometimes, it feels like life should stop until you feel better. You know, like when bad things happen and you have a moment of silence over the PA system at school or something. Life should do that for you when you become camel poop girl and your best friend meets a girl named Leilani and your grandpa is parading around the news like a rockstar. Life should stop when you can’t figure out who you are, no matter how hard you try. Just a moment, where things don’t change or don’t move, out of respect.

But it doesn’t.

The next day, I knew I had to have a plan. Wild animals adapt and evolve to survive their hostile environments: I had to do the same. I needed a method, a fail-proof plan to make it through the next three days of school without Liv’s help. While Grandpa was in town flaunting his famousness all over the place. And my butt, apparently.

This was easier said than done.

When Liv first moved away, I sort of felt like she was still around, like a little voice on my shoulder waiting to hear about my life and help me out. But it didn’t feel like that now. Now that she had Leilani and exciting adventures and all that. Now somehow the place that used to feel sort of like home to me felt dangerous and unknown. I felt alone, really alone, with nobody there on my shoulder.

So my plan was to disappear.

In the past two weeks, I learned quickly that if you’re writing and doodling away with your nose stuck in a book, people are much more likely to ignore you. Constantly writing in a notebook is one of the best ways to avoid people. There are all sorts of crazy things going on in junior high, and the Sneerers would find it hard to focus on little ol’ me if my eyes were always down in a notebook.

Right?

Ana’s Week, Constant Notes Courtesy of Crippling Fear and/or Self-Pity:

8:15: Arrive at school, narrowly miss the Sneerers on their way to the bathroom or wherever they go to apply makeup that their parents wouldn’t allow them to leave the house with. (Note: The Sneerers could totally be raccoons at Halloween without much effort, given all the eyeshadow. This would totally beat their oh-so-unique cat costumes every year.)

8:30–9:20: English. Book report due on The Hunger Games. Really, Mrs. Roca should know better than that—we’re all just going to watch the movie instead. Managed to avoid eye contact with Ashley, who sat behind me staring death rays at the back of my head. Felt slight burning sensation in my hair.

9:30–10:20: History class. Luckily I share this one with Bella, who is crazy into history and carts around ancient books and maps everywhere. Note: these books are often huge and great for hiding.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.