How to Marry the Last Billionaire on Earth by Elise Sax

Author:Elise Sax [sax, elise]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Elise Sax
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 9

Rosalind

“You broke my nose,” Orlando complains. Somehow, we’ve made it back to the beach, and we’re still alive.

“Your nose isn’t broken.”

His nose has stopped bleeding, but his eyes are turning black and blue. I decide to keep the information about his black eyes to myself.

“It feels broken,” he says. “It feels like my entire face is broken.”

“That’s your fault,” I say, pointing at him. “You tried to kill me.”

“I was trying to teach you to…” He puts his hands out, palms forward. “Never mind. You can’t swim. You’ll never swim. You’re a land mammal, and that’s it. I promise to never, ever, never ever—And I mean never ever—try to teach you to swim again. I will do all of the fishing.”

The next few days, we fall into a mundane routine. We wake up with the sun and have fruit and coconut for breakfast. We wash ourselves and clean up the hut, and Orlando fishes. It turns out that it’s easy to smoke fish, and we smoke enough to last us a week.

After a couple of days of this, we’re bored out of our minds. I’d do anything for television or a book. Or even an emergency. Something life-threatening would be more enjoyable than the crippling boredom we find ourselves in. Just as I think we can’t get any more bored, it starts to rain again. Luckily, the hut is completely weatherproof at this point, but it doesn’t change the fact that we’re stuck inside sitting on our frond beds, staring at each other with nothing to do after we eat.

“We could play charades,” Orlando suggests.

“I don’t play charades,” I say, and we sit in silence for an hour. “Fine, show me how to play charades,” I say, finally.

Orlando shows me how to play, and we launch into a game. “This is stupid. Why do people play this?” I ask.

He shrugs. “Beats me. I guess because they’re not having sex.”

As the word sex leaves his mouth, we freeze in place. Nobody’s moving a muscle. The only sound is the rain outside.

“I guess charades isn’t so bad,” I say after our long silence. “But no more songs or movies. I don’t have time for songs and movies in the real world.”

“What about the other thing? Do you have time for that?”

“What other thing?” I ask, but I know the answer. Sex. The truth is that I haven’t had sex in a very long time because there’s no time for sex when you’re a ball-busting, cold career woman.

“Maybe we could pass the time like that,” Orlando suggests.

I scoot back from him a little. “Like what?”

He arches an eyebrow. “You know. We could do a little passing the time sex.”

“What’re you talking about? Are you flirting with me? Is this flirting?”

“No. This is a suggestion. We could fill the time with sex. A lot of time.”

“Look, Orlando,” I say. “I know you’re attracted to me. That’s understandable. I have twelve percent body fat, and it’s all in my breasts, and I have perfect bone structure.

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