Happy Kids: The Secrets to Raising Well-Behaved, Contented Children by Cathy Glass

Author:Cathy Glass
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Harper Collins, Inc.
Published: 2010-05-13T03:00:00+00:00

I fostered a ten-year-old boy once who, whenever we visited my parents, dashed into the lounge and sat in my father’s adjustable armchair, although he knew that that was where my father sat. The child had quickly realised, albeit subconsciously, that when we visited my parents, my father automatically became head of the family, and this was the child’s way of challenging my father’s position and vying for control.

The first couple of times we visited, the boy created such a scene when I asked him to sit in one of the other chairs, as other family members were doing, that my father was embarrassed and kept saying, ‘It’s OK, he can sit there. I’ll sit in another chair.’ But it wasn’t OK, for reasons unconnected with the actual sitting in the chair but to do with respect for my father and the hierarchy of the group. As with the child’s other challenging behaviour, he was trying to dominate – in this case my father – as he was trying to dominate me at home, and as he had been doing with his mother.

I would add that that child had some of the worst behavioural problems I have ever seen, but when he eventually learnt how carefree it was simply being a child, he turned into an absolute delight, cooperative but full of character.

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