Handling Difficult People: Easy Instructions for Managing the Difficult People in Your Life by Jon P. Bloch

Author:Jon P. Bloch
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Personal Growth, General, Self-Help
ISBN: 9781440563287
Publisher: Adams Media
Published: 2013-03-18T13:15:11+00:00

the know-it-all

CHAPTER SIX: Let’s say you’re having a pleasant Sunday brunch with friends. You’re seated at an outdoor patio on a sunny spring day. In the middle of a sentence, you say something about how it feels warmer for this time of year than it usually does. A newcomer—some friend of a friend—begs to differ with you. “You’re wrong,” he forthrightly states. “I heard on the morning news that the record high temperature for today was in 1904, and that the high today would be five degrees lower than that. So it can’t be that warm.” A friend comes to your defense: “I’m sure all Betty [or Bob] meant was that it’s a lovely warm day.” But this other person is a Know-It-All, and cannot let the matter go: “To say it is unusually warm connotes exception, and five degrees below the record high could not by any stretch of the imagination qualify as an exception.” He smarmily adds: “I suggest you go to the dictionary and look up the word, ‘unusual.’”

Another friend says something about how really, this is not any sort of big deal, at which point the Know-It-All practically foams at the mouth and says: “It certainly is a big deal when people no longer know the meanings of common words in the English language!”

This may seem an extremely trivial anecdote, but that is the point. A Know-It-All is someone who cannot be wrong, no matter what. He or she must have the last word, even if the argument becomes convoluted—or even if it turns into an outright lie. Sometimes a Know-It-All feels backed into a corner. Someone has made a strong counter-argument, and the Know-It-All is on the verge of getting busted for Being Wrong. And so the Know-It-All says anything to win the little debate. In other instances—like the story above—a Know-It-All will pick a fight. It can be a small matter that no one else cares about, but unless everyone immediately acquiesces to the Know-It-All’s point of view, he or she will fight it to the death. Spoiling everyone else’s time matters naught. Supposedly, there is a principle at stake. And these so-called principles matter more to the Know-It-All than treating other people decently.

Now, there are many battles in this world worth fighting, and sometimes it is appropriate to let good manners take a back seat to defending what you think is right. But the Know-It-All is not really about principles at all. Instead, it is a personality trait that serves only to inflate someone’s ego. The Know-It-All simply is scared to death of ever being wrong. And like any matter of life and death—even if only in someone’s mind—stakes that high must be fought to the bitter end.

HOW TO SPOT A KNOW-IT-ALL

Unlike some difficult personality types, Know-It-Alls make little attempt to hide the way they are—even upon first meeting. Whether it be a stranger at a party, a boss or coworker, a friend, date, relative, or spouse, there is often a lack of subterfuge.

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